My job has really been taking its toll on me. I am always exhausted, I am emotionally drained, I meet each day with a level of anxiety and apprehension and I am finding comfort in things like sugar and wine. Needless to say, I have gained a ridiculous amount of weight. All of this contributes to low self-esteem and an increase in depression. It's crap. I hope with all my might I can get a job at a different school, preferably out-of-district, come next fall. It's the only way I'll be able to enjoy life again.
Josh's business is in a lull. A major lull. I feel like I have to be conservative in every spending choice I make. As a result, I feel extremely limited in what activities I can do. We spend a lot of time at home. On the couch. In front of the tv. Me drinking wine. Is it any wonder I'm fat and I feel so depressed?
One day, things will be different. I don't have the power to change it right now because I need a job to survive financially and I have a commitment to 25 5 and 6 year olds to uphold. I am working on making things different for next year, though. Little by little, it will change.
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