absence and beauty

I'm sure that in a few years I'll be relishing the times Josh has to be at the station for 2-3 days straight. But right now, I'm really wishing he didn't have to be gone so long. :(

Remind me of this when I'm feeling ready to pull my hair out over his male-isms later in the week.

Now, pictures! (If you're my facebook friend, you've already seen these)

Over Memorial Day Weekend, My friends Angela and Vicky and I went to a music festival called Sasquatch, which takes place at the Breathtaking Gorge Amphitheatre a couple of hours away from Seattle. Here are a bunch of photos I took and only just today uploaded from my camera (that needs to be on my areas to improve list):











The next morning, after camping, we went to the Cave B Inn and Vineyard next door to the Amphitheatre and had a 5 star brunch!



This is the Main Inn:



Walking through the Vineyard:



These are the cottages:



Here you can see the amphitheatre on the left and the Main Inn on the right:



Simply breathtaking:

Dark Chocolate (with a swirl of caramel)

I haven't had much time to myself these days. Josh is pulling a 48 hour shift at the station this weekend, so I can finally veg a little without distraction.

I had a teaching conference for 4 days last week that included homework each night, so that was fairly all-consuming. It was a really good conference, but I had a hard time being awake through it because I didn't have any friends there with me. See, my secret is that I really don't like teachers. At all. In fact, if I list my closest friends, only one of them is a teacher. And he doesn't like teachers either, so that's probably why that works. And at this conference, people were there in groups from schools. But since I am new at my school, the teachers at my school have already taken the training and weren't there. So I was the only one representing my school and thus the only one not already with pre-made friends/colleagues/acquaintances aka a clique. In other words, I was the only one there by myself. And I didn't try to make friends because I don't really like teachers. I ended up eating by myself at lunch and sitting by myself during the lectures. It was lonely. At the end of the conference, 7 people were selected to read their writing to the rest of the conference attendees. I was selected, though I wasn't too thrilled about it. I didn't know how I would do standing on that big stage in a spotlight with a microphone in front of an auditorium of strangers. But I did it and it went okay. People liked my piece. Then I was proud of myself, but because I didn't have any friends there, I felt like I had no one to share that with. As I said before, it was lonely.

Yesterday, with Josh's help, I finally got my old classroom emptied and stuffed the tubs and boxes into my new classroom. I turned in my keys and can officially say I'm done with my old school. I don't know whether to cheer or finally cry over the hardship I experienced. To cap off the incredibly trying year, I received another (hopefully final) harrassing email from the foster parent of my emotionally damaged student last weekend. If I get another, I am going to file for a restraining order because it really is out of control. He is severely imbalanced and I am frightened by his irrational unpredictability. This time, he told me I should not be a teacher, called me stupid and selfish, and said I should try getting a job at Dick's Drive-In (a local fast food chain). No one who knows me as a teacher or an individual has ever questioned my abilities or competency in such a way. The people I know professionally whom I have shared these emails with are shocked and blown away and horrified and...confused. I just have to realize there is no rationality behind such hatefulness. I want to find a way I can fix it; analyze what I've done wrong to merit this. There is no answer, though. I've done nothing wrong. This child's issues have nothing to do with me and I could have done no better in handling the situation I was dealt. I did the best I could do and it was more than many could have or would have done. I need to remind myself of that regularly. I just pray this man does not find out my address, my phone number, or my new school. It is sad to know he will probably be able to adopt this child soon. He is a horrible candidate to be a parent. He has a lot of money, but that is not the recipe for good parenting. It's just a sad situation all around. I just hope it's over now. I hope he got his last hateful words in and now he will quietly go away. I don't want to have to file a restraining order. It will invite so much more drama and I just want it all to disappear...

I spent a few hours engaged in retail therapy with Todd today. His uncle was just diagnosed with skin cancer and given 6 months to a year to live. It's so hard to fathom. He noticed a weird mole early last week, went in to have it looked at, and after a biopsy, that was the prognosis he was given. Can you believe it?? Such horrible, horrible news. Todd's 2 cousins are in college and Todd isn't able to talk to them about it because neither of them is able to process it in such a way that they are open to communicating right now. Because really....how do you??? It's maddening. Cancer is just so unfair. My uncle died of the same kind when I was in high school and it really does go that quickly. I think he lasted just a few months after the diagnosis. We weren't that close because he lived across the country, but I remember how it was really devastating for my similarly-aged cousins.

Wow. This post is pretty glum. Sorry. I guess I just needed to get some things out.

To end things on a lighter note, I'll post our whitewater rafting pics. So much fun! Now I want to go mountain climbing in Whistler, Canada. Up next: hot air balloon ride in Oregon. I can't wait!!!



Here we are all high-five-ing each other with our paddles after an awesome rapid:




Josh and I are sitting on the front of the raft for this rapid, bucking bronco style, in the white helmets. It was special birthday gift from our guide, Hootie. I love how Vicky is in the back, holding her paddle in the air in victory:




Josh and I fell backwards as a result of the force of the water on us:

FREEDOM

zero days left of school!

Weeeeeeeeee! I wanted to get all of my things moved out of my classroom and into my new school today, but Josh had to be at the station for a shift tonight and thus the truck was unavailable for my use. I can't believe how much STUFF I have accumulated. It will take several trips to get it from my room into the truck and then again into my new school. I'll get to wait until next Friday to do all of that. Next week, a workshop awaits me. 4 long days...with my Principal. Not my new Principal; my old one. Lord help me. She is going to a new school next year as well and they just happen to be implementing the same curriculum that my new school implements for Writing. So she and I have to go to this workshop together. It's a cruel coincidence. I hope there are many people in this workshop so I can avoid her as much as possible. To say I loathe her is quite the understatement.

I haven't been online more than moments since I returned from my fabulous birthday getaway weekend on Monday. I made up for that tonight with a 3 hour marathon of blog perusing, facebooking, and email catching up. It was lovely.

I have so much to say about last weekend--it was truly fabulous. I loved every moment of it. I have great friends. And whitewater rafting? Well, I'm a huge fan. I would happily trade in my career for that of a rafting guide in a heartbeat. And before I forget to mention it, a funny coincidence happened on the trip! One of the boats capsized, which could have been scarier than it was. Another group of people were rafting behind us and their boat overturned on a rapid. We rescued a guy from the water as he was quickly carried down the river in the current. My friend Angela was attempting to put him at ease once he was in our raft, asking him his name and where he and his friends were from. He said, "My name's Josh.", which we thought was funny because we already had 2 Angela's in the boat and now we had 2 Josh's. But that wasn't the weird part. When she asked where he was from, he said, "Indiana." I said, "No way! Where?" And he said "Fort Wayne", which is where Josh and I are both from. We both said, "What?! No!" It turned out, he and his friends were visiting out West on a trip. They had all graduated from Carroll HS, which is the High School many of my childhood friends from my old neighborhood went to. He was 10 years our junior, so that's where the commonalities ended, but how's that for a small world moment?! Anyway, more on that trip in a future post. I might even make it a photo essay. We documented some great fun and some even greater beauty from the area.

Tomorrow night, I will be meeting a few friends for drinks and possible dancing to further celebrate that advanced digit in my age and the finish of a LONG, trying year. Who thought teaching Kindergarten could be so drama-filled? I am looking forward to less drama and more rewards in the coming school year.

I attended my new school's 'Kindergarten Social', at which a bunch of incoming Kinders got to visit, eat ice cream, and play on the school's playground. I felt kind of awkward since the place feels just as foreign to me as it does to them. Still, it was nice to meet many of the parents and the new kids that will potentially be in my room next year. What a world of difference. Almost all of the kids are white and many of the parents are able to be 1-income families due to their higher income level. I was admittedly a bit sad to not have the cultural and socioeconomic diversity I've been used to. It will probably be a welcome change in the classroom dynamics, though. I won't miss being a Social Worker/Child Therapist/Teacher I am anxious to teach without so much psychological baggage plaguing my classroom. But I think I've traded that in for overbearing parents and I question what's worse. Some of them were already weepy and their kids haven't even begun school yet! I anticipate having to force them to let go of their babies each morning for several weeks. That'll be loads of fun...

I am wiped. I stayed up all night writing report cards, and all day was spent wrapping things up with my kids. I spent 4 hours after school packing up my room and now and I want to do is veg. The house is a mess, but cleaning will just have to wait. I need a break. Josh's shift falling on this night this week was a gift. I have the couch and remote to myself!

lucky ducky

Remember when there were lots of days left of school? Well, now there are 8. Eight. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8. I love that.

My last post makes me laugh because I really was Ms. Grumpypants that morning. Turns out we had a really nice time with Josh's friend. He's a nice guy--young and not entirely the sharpest pencil in the box, but that actually added to the ease and lightheartedness of the weekend. We got to show him the beauty of the city, the charm of our 'hood, and the outlandish prices of nearby homes. He said, "When I'm done with the Army, I'm totally moving back to Indiana. But I sure wish I could live here." Yeah....home prices are scary here. Unfathomable, really. I don't want to leave, but I really would love my own home someday. There is a house down the block that just went up for sale. Really cute, even though it's on a hill so the yard, sidewalk and street are at a slope. Not ideal, but then again, the $700,000 price tag tells me it won't ever be mine anyway. sad.

I am super hyped for this weekend. We are celebrating my birthday early with a getaway to Hood River, Oregon for a whitewater rafting trip. 7 of my besties are staying in the cutest house on the White Salmon River, waking Saturday for the rafting trip, then partying in Hood River on Saturday night. Sunday morning will be breakfast followed by a hike in the mountains. And we'll be kid free since Todd is watching Lulu for the weekend. Wee ha! I can't wait!

These days, my man is making me breakfast, lunch and dinner and doing all the dishes, too. How lucky can a girl get? I won't pinch myself or I might jinx it! :)

Little Miss Complains A Lot

Excuse me while I grump for a spell.

I was roused from my sleep this morning by kisses and a whispering Josh promising that he would be back in an hour from a quick job and that he would be taking me to brunch. Not a bad way to wake up! But then, an hour later, when he came back and I was prepping myself for a morning of yummies, he told me that in fact plans had changed. He said he had just gotten off the phone with an old friend from the fire station in Indiana who had joined the Army and was recently moved to Fort Lewis. We could still have brunch, but it would be more like lunch, once he returned from picking this guy up, and then we'd hang out with said friend for the weekend. Because, oh yeah, he'd be spending the night.

[Cue bad mood.]

Now, I like people. I really do. I think it's safe to say that I'm a people person even. But waking up on the first day of my weekend to, "Hey, we're gonna have a house guest in an hour" makes me not pleased. At all. I don't want to entertain anyone. I don't want to clean the house for anyone. I don't want to host anyone. I don't want to care how I look or how my house looks or consider anyone's feelings about how to spend my weekend. I want to eat a gluttonous brunch, followed by a trip to the park with my dog, followed by an afternoon of rest. I was considering going out with Kat tonight to see Mark's band, but I was really thinking a movie would be a better option since I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO EXERT ENERGY TODAY.

I just hope this person is likeable. I never met him in the 3 1/2 months I lived in FW, so I am confused as to how he and Josh are "good friends".

.......

What I do know is that I need to get rid of my bad attitude because right now I feel like taking the dog and going up to Edmonds and hiding out with Todd. I know I need to just swallow it and vacuum the living room. Which of course, I will. And then I'll make myself look decent and put a big smile on my face and be very nice and accomodating.

But just between you and me, I'm not going to like it.

Thou shalt not kill

When Obama was elected into office, I knew the impact of an African-American taking office was a monumental event for our country, but especially for the population I teach. I went about trying to find out how I could get an inauguration newspaper for each one of my students, to laminate and give to them as a keepsake. It took me about a week of volleying phone calls with several offices to convince the Seattle Times that they should donate 25 issues to my class. In fact, the company "politely declined",citing financial concerns, but eventually, an "anonymous donor" finally came through. I coordinated picking the papers up from their downtown office, battling rush hour traffic, and after 2 attempts, finally got all of the issues. I told Josh of my plan, and then took individual photos of all of the students making the peace sign while holding up an Obama pop-art notecard. I planned to put the two together with their Journal writing from that day reviewing the election. Now, this all happened in January, of course. Here it is June and I am just now getting around to putting this into fruition. But that's okay, because it's a lifetime memoir and it's going to be a great end of the year gift.

I looked high and low for those papers over the weekend, to no avail. I remembered that they were in a large Eddie Bauer shopping bag, small, but also easy to spot. I asked Josh this morning as I was getting ready for work if he recalled seeing them in the office (where I had placed them for safe-keeping). He responded immediately with, "Oh, yeah. I tossed those months ago." I looked at him, stunned, in disbelief. He must be joking, right?! I said, "Wha- Huh?" He said, "Oh yeah. You never used them and they were just taking up space so I recycled them."

Oh. My. God. I have never wanted to be more single in my life.