Whino

Josh and I are both kinda glum tonight. He had his audiology exam for the Fire Dept. and he did poorly, which is exactly why he's been getting cold feet about trying to get on. He still doesn't have a final say about whether it will prevent him from being part of the department, but he is naturally feeling angsty. And I wish I could fix it. As usual.

I am feeling down because the fight with Jarred's "parents" is neverending, making the passing of the next 27 days of school a harrowing prospect. How could the foster parents of such a monster be so unsupportive and hateful and damaging to my psyche? How could they place so much blame on me when they know what he's like? Are they delusional? I am dumbfounded. I have never felt so attacked and beat upon and criticized. I can't WAIT for this year to be over.

In light of this, I've been thinking about what I can do for me. What can I do to just take care of me, nurture me, pamper me? I spend every day taking care of others and I'm only feeling worn and tired and down about myself as a result. I am going to do something for myself, as soon as I figure out what that could be. I promise.

The thing that should have made me happy today is that I am 99% sure I am not getting laid off. Connie told me only 60 people are getting laid off and that would put me in the clear because of my seniority in the district. Andy was told today that he's been laid off, which means he doesn't get to keep that job he just got. In fact, he doesn't have any job for next year. His contract has been dissolved so he's possibly going to be stuck subbing if more positions don't open. I feel horrible for him, especially because he has a family. Being the eternal caregiver, I offered to babysit his kids a week from Thursday so he can go to a meeting the district is holding for people they've laid off. Not sure what he'll learn there, but I know it's important he take any help they might offer.

Tomorrow's going to suck. I have school all day, a group staff meeting at a neighboring school right afterwards, acupuncture at 5 (the one bonus), and Math Night until 8. :( I hope Josh feels better when I get home so I can feed off good energy after all of that. I need a happy escape to come home to.