Resolution Reality, Part 1

I am beginning to feel the pressures of my New Year's Resolutions. Follow through is something that affects so many aspects of my life. For example, today is my first laundry day in the New Year. I wait until Sunday to do laundry for two reasons: I can, and it's cheaper. I can because I don't have kids that require boat loads of laundry to be done on a weekly basis and it's cheaper because Sundays and evenings are the times when the rates are less for power use. Did you know this? Years ago, I was reading the papers that come with our utility bills -the papers that you automatically recycle because you don't care about anything in the envelope except how much you owe. For some reason I actually read these papers on one particular day and in there they sent a bar graph representing the cost per kw (or something like that) of use. Sundays and evenings were the cheapest because businesses are not typically using power at that time. They recommended higher power sucker machines like dishwasher and laundry machines be used Sundays and evenings in order to have lower electricity bills. I latched on to that information and ever since, I've only used the dishwasher and laundry machines during those "low cost" times. Someone could prove me wrong today and I'm in such the habit of doing this I probably wouldn't change. So back to my point. What was my point? Oh yeah, laundry day is hard. So here I am dutifully doing laundry. The problem with doing all my laundry on one day is that it literally takes up the entire day. I do at minimum 4 loads (darks, lights, hots: towels and undies, and whites). That means I have to fold and hang and put away at minimum four loads. Man, that takes a lot of work. Now I know this won't be anything compared to if I do actually have kids. But right now it feels like a ton of work. In the past, we've ended up with loads of clean laundry just sitting in the hampers never getting put away for days. I can't do that any more if I'm going to focus on following through on things, you know? Hence this feeling of dread. Dishes, same thing. Josh ran the dishwasher last night, so of course now I need to follow through and put those clean dishes away rather than letting them sit in the washer while dirty dishes pile up in the sink. Ugh. The Christmas tree ornaments. We took down the Christmas tree yesterday and I put all of the ornaments into a bag for quick removal. Of course, now I need to follow through and put all the ornaments, stockings, decor, etc. into their rightful places in storage. I tell you, this follow through business is going to take a lot of getting used to (and a lot of complaining and whining of course).

My latest conundrum is that all of this sourness with follow through is making me hesitant to join "Health Month". Health month occurs every January. It requires eliminating everything "bad" for you in your diet like sugar, caffeine, dairy, white flour and rice, alcohol and nicotine, fried foods and fatty meats, and including exercise 3x per week. It starts tonight at midnight and ends 2/1 at midnight. I've always meant to do it. I mean, it's good for you! And truthfully, I already try hard to eliminate the white flour and white rice. (Save sushi. Man, I do love sushi.) The sugar would be the hardest thing. And the no red wine part. Red wine is my crutch. My job only feels possible with red wine. (Wait, did I say that? Maybe that means I have a problem. Oops.) And goat/sheep cheese is so GOOD. Tea with caffeine is actually allowed, which makes that part 100% manageable for me. I know Josh won't participate and that will naturally make it more difficult for me. Oh what to do. I know it's just one month. Anything is possible for one month, right? But will I get mean without sugar? Will I get grumpy or tired? Is that fair to my students? It sounds so LAME to say I can't do health month because of my job, but, honestly, I have a job where a positive emotional state is key to my ability to function. I can't shut my office door when I'm in a bad mood. I can't call in sick if I have a migraine. I can't hide behind my computer or reduce the amount of conversations I have with people or do less work on any given day. I know I'm not alone. I don't mean to say that being a teacher is the hardest job on the planet or the highest calling or anything of the sort. I only know what is required of me to do my job and what I can and can't modify based on my emotional state in order to perform it. I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but can I honestly partake in health month without sacrificing my students? Okay, I do sound like a drama queen. I guess settles it. Just to prove my whiny self wrong, I'm partaking in health month even if it kills me. If I don't follow through with health month, I won't hate myself or think I've failed...I'll simply do my best and I will only quit if it's for a damn good reason. Like, I go blind with headaches. Or I get really close to throttling a kid or telling off my school secretary (the latter of which takes incredible restraint as it is). Okay.

Wish me luck! Believe me, I'll keep you posted.