To follow up on all of the drama I posted re: Josh and my relationship, in short, we are staying together. We are moving to a new place at the end of this month, together, and all in all ... I hope I don't regret it. I love him. I want it to work. But I have difficulty trusting that he's, as my friend Buster would say, "in it to win it". In terms of moving, I am really bummed about it. I know our landlord is annoying, but we live in a nice house in an absolutely perfect location. Josh has been pushing to move for a year now. I finally gave in because I can't afford this place by myself so if he's unhappy here the only option is that we both go elsewhere. Browsing Craigslist is such a chore and there are few places that I like that also would welcome Lulu. Naturally, there is nothing available in our neighborhood that we can afford. We pay a really good price for what we get. Secretly, I want to tell our landlord we were kidding and we're not moving. But I know it's for the best. If Josh is uncomfortable with her, I owe it to him to try something new.
We heard that Gabe is out of the coma, has had two surgeries, and had 7 plates and 30 screws inserted into his head and face. He also had to have cheek implants since his were shattered to oblivion, and he had a tracheotomy done in order to breathe because his face is so swollen. The imagery I get when I think of that makes me feel horrible. My poor Gabey. We are planning for Josh to go down there in a week. I don't believe I can go because it's just too painful for me to see him. I would cry the whole time and Gabe doesn't need that. I would like to go down there just to see Grandma and be a support for Josh when he comes home from visiting Gabe in the hospital at night, but I don't think we can afford to get two tickets. --Especially when we're going to need to pay First Last and Deposit at a new place in the next couple of weeks.
I am trying to coordinate the guys at the station in FW to put a video together for Gabe so Josh can take it down there with him. I just need to see about getting the video camera--either from Mom and Dad if theirs is able to transfer to DVD--or see if one of the guys has one. I'd also like K to be able to borrow it so she can tape the people at his old work sending him well wishes. I think it would be incredibly therapeutic for his emotional state--and also maybe help to convince him he should move back to FW to be with his girls and be safe with the people who love him.
Tomorrow, we're having Easter dinner at Josh's cousin's house. I have only met Matt briefly twice, but I think he's a really nice guy. Josh is not a fan of his know-it-all wife, but I think it's important we accepted the invitation since Josh will also get to see his Aunt and thus reconnect with some family that he has in the area.
I am so lazy today. We really need to go look at places to live, but Josh is working so we'll have to wait til later. For now, I've given myself permission to laze around. If I was more disciplined, I would go mail my cousin's baby gift (especially since she already had him a week ago--oops!), go work out at the gym, take Lulu out to play, and/or attack the laundry that is presently attacking the bedroom floor. But the couch is really comfy. And did I mention I feel lazy? I do.
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