Nice to meetcha. You can call me Crazy.

I almost slipped and outted myself as an Internet Stalker.

I went to sign up with a new gym today and when I walked in I saw a man sitting at the front desk typing on his laptop who looked familiar. He isn't unique looking, so I didn't think much of it. The other person behind the desk was Mr. SellerMan, and he had a great interest in selling the gym to me, so I tried to give him a good audience as we began our tour. When another client approached the desk, however, he called over to Mr. Familiar and said, "Oh-Kyle-can you help her check in, please?" Mr. Familiar's name was Kyle. Now, that was familiar, too. Throughout the tour, I kept thinking, 'Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Who is Kyle?' I was trying hard to take note of the things important to me: 'Not the right elipticals. Kyle... Ipod docks. Nice. Kyle... New dumbbells. Kyle... I can change the channels on the flat screens. Good. Kyle...' And then it hit me! 'Kyle!' 'Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!' I was so happy to place him. It had been driving me nuts.

Who is Kyle, you might ask. A friend? An old coworker? No. Kyle is a personal trainer at my new gym. Before today, though, I was unaware of Kyle's position. In many ways, you could say, I was unaware of Kyle. Now settle in for a little story in which I out myself as Crazy.

Once upon a time when I was browsing wedding photographers (for no reason), I came upon a photo I loved. It led to another photo that I loved of the same event and another 30 after that. I was so intrigued by this beautiful wedding that I wanted to know more about the subjects. And then I became obsessed. I found their wedding blog which let me more into their lives and then their photo account on flickr which let me more into their personal lives. Shortly thereafter, I even...-wait for it-...started getting my hair cut by the same person who did Kyle's wife's hair for their wedding. I don't mean to insult your intelligence by stating that this was not coincidental.

Suddenly, standing steps away from Kyle while signing my life away for gym membership that- let's be honest -will end up just making me feel badly about myself for not using, I was so excited, I almost told Kyle I know his wife. WHAT???? OH MY GOD ARE YOU CRAZY???? Yes, I think I am. Because I DON'T know Kyle's wife. I know Kyle's wife as much as I know Kyle. Which is NOT AT ALL. I know her name. That is very different than knowing her. I know her hairdresser personally. That, again, is very different than knowing her. And yet--- While Mr. SellerMan was rambling about towels and lockers and security codes, I was actually thinking of a more "appropriate" way of letting Kyle know that I know about his life. AS THOUGH THAT EXISTED. Could I say, "I loved your wedding photos!!!"? No. How about, "Your wife and I share the same hairdresser!"? No. NO NO NO NO. And yet, I thought I could. I seriously did. Right up until the moment I forced myself to walk out of that gym and get into my car.

Let's just hope I have scolded myself enough or I'm going to have to drop that membership sooner than I thought.