Today

Today...
I miss my boyfriend.
I am hanging out with Vicky downtown.
I am going to bake something from my new Agave cookbook.
I am seeing a movie with Todd.
I appreciate my life.

ETA (at midnight)
Today...
I missed my boyfriend's hugs and kisses.
I hung out with Vicky downtown and had a blast. See video here.
I did not bake anything, but I vacuumed the house.
I saw a movie with Katrina and Kathleen.
I appreciated my life.

stuff

Josh leaves tomorrow for a full week. Despite the fact that I don't see him too terribly much during the work week, I am sad about this. I will miss him! I'm also freaked out about being a single parent. Our ability to care for a dog really rests on the fact that he has such a flexible schedule. He's really the main caregiver because he's typically home by mid-afternoon. I'm lucky to get home by 7 and I frequently have other evening commitments that have me gone til 9:30/10. I'm particularly freaked out because I have Parent Teacher conferences til 8 on Thurs and Friday night with no ability to come home before then. Our dogwalker only comes M, W, F and it's in the mornings. Oh well, I'll figure something out. Either ask the dogwalker to add a day and come later....or....ask Nikki for help??

I am going to a coffee benefit with Josh when he gets home from work. Then brunch and the dog park followed by some shopping and a movie. We're making the most of his last day home. Tomorrow I'll be home all day writing my fellowship to go on a science expedition. I should have brought home report cards, but I wasn't thinking. Either that, or I subconciously thought the absence of them would make for a more pleasant weekend. Which it does. :) We know what I'll be doing next weekend, though..... Fun times.

Before I go, I need to document something for my files of "Holy crap I'm so glad I switched schools!" I had a fabulous evaluation meeting on Tuesday in which my principal told me I was an amazing teacher and she is so grateful to have me. Then on Thursady, when I dropped my class off at Art, the Art teacher stopped me and said, "You are a wonderful addition to this school. We are so glad to have you here." It's like I'm making this stuff up. But I'm not!! Talk about a world apart from the last few years! Every teacher deserves to feel this appreciated.

Oh, drunky mcdrunkerson should not post. It's the same thing as drunk dialing, you know. Worse, though, because it's available for viewing for a long time to come. I could delete that last post, but I'd rather just leave it as a reminder that I can be incredibly emotional and irrational when under the influence.

The big thing driving my last post was Josh's announcement that his trip to Indiana this Sunday for a week will allow him to truly determine if he wants to move back there or not. I am getting tired of his inconsistencies and lack of commitment to things. I know he's committed to me, but he needs to figure out what he wants aside from me and commit to it and after he does that (a feat in itself) I don't know if I'll want to fit myself into that scheme. I'm not moving to Indiana anyway. I know that with every fiber of my being. I love what I'm able to do in my job and I know I can really only do those things because of the community in which I live. If my priorities in my work change, I'll be able to consider other locales. For now, though, I'm set.

Some of my friends are also a huge impetus for that last drunken display. A few of them have been driving me nuts lately. That night in particular, I came to find out that one of them has been mad at me for the past 2 months, because she thinks I've been mad at her. Two of our mutual friends have been aware that I'm out of the loop, but they've only been fueling the fire in her mind in further believing I'm upset with her. What the hell? This middle school drama is not supposed to be happening at this late date in my life. Also, I am left feeling disappointed in my choice of friends and my naivete in trusting people. I have done what I can to smooth things over with the initial friend, although I still know my ability to trust her is changed forevermore due to her inability to talk to me about things from the start. I am now left wondering how I will pursue things with the mutual friends who have shown they don't have my best interest at heart. I would love to push a button that just puts a curtain between me and things like this and walk away quietly, but that is not life and I know it.

I got a lot of work done today on my "day off", though there is still more to be done. I have been wanting to bake something, but I don't want to put real clothes on to go to the store. I'm just too LAZY. I am beginning to realize I eat so poorly because I hate grocery shopping, cooking, and sitting down to eat. I would rather just have cereal for breakfast, canned soup for lunch, and take out for dinner. "Whatever is fastest and easiest" is pretty much my motto.

I wish we had Wednesday off every week. I've been spreading myself thin and this required break from the norm is good for me. I hope others are able to take advantage of this today, too. We could all use a break.

Optimistic Drunk

Even though I've had too much wine as a result of Angela's dinner party and it's nearly 1 o'clock in the morning on a school night, I've come to the realization that these things need to be accepted, starting tomorrow when I am sober:

I will need to find a new place of my own by the end of the month

I will need to start online dating again

I will not be having babies anytime soon, despite my old age of 34 1/2 (almost)

I will not be settling down with a life partner anytime soon

I will need to say goodbye to someone I've loved for some time

I will be working on buying my own home alone

I will need to start taking care of myself and avoiding becoming a fat, slovenly hermit

Please, internet friends, help me achieve these goals. Good night.

P.S. Laura and Ted just bought a house and tonight I found out they are 3 months pregnant. YAY!

P.P.S. I found out Sharonne had to be forced to come to brunch on Saturday because she didn't want to see me. I am not sad about this. I am annoyed and I feel less enamored with her than ever before.

P.P.P.S. I want to go to Cancun in February.

Good night now for real.

Kinder Babble

Me:"So, let's stretch out our words when we write them today. Listen for all the sounds you hear when you say the words. I'm going to write, 'We went to see the U.S.S. Arizona.' Who can help me spell 'We'?"

Excited Kindergarten boy raises hand and I call on him.

Kindergartner: "Oh! I know this! 'W'..." (waits for me to write W). "I" (waiting for me to write 'I' as I hesitate). "And another I after you write that."

WII. Oh, but of course.