good night and good luck

36 days left of school!

I just had my fifth and final interview (for this round of hiring). The two I had yesterday were both long and detailed, but went well for the most part. This last one today was just plain dumb. It couldn't have lasted 15 minutes even and the questions were so generic, it really left me disappointed that the school doesn't care about the type of teacher they hire. They couldn't have gleaned much from me in that interview and that means they either a)already know who they want to hire and are only doing interviews for legality purposes or b)don't truly care about the teacher they hire so long as they look "right" or meet some preconceived notion of who they want on staff. Either way, it's not a place I am likely going to be able to consider. I think that's a shame because they are a school that's close to home and they serve a population that wouldn't provide for a lot of added stress to my life. I need that after this year. I really, really do.

I'll find out the results on May 5th, from what I've heard. And then on May 15th I'll find out if they are going to RIF and if I will need to look for another job outside of this school district. Not that there are any I've come across, and if I don't I'll need to start practicing, "Would you like to supersize that?" Scary!

Today was another day of being hit repeatedly by Jarred, my emotionally damaged student, and being told "I hate you!" "You are disgusting!" in addition to him hitting children, calling them "f*ckers", "sh*theads", and exposing himself. Makes you want to steal so you can send your kid to private school, doesn't it? I don't blame you.

In other words, I'm drained. I have put working out on hold for the past 3 days so I could focus on having the energy to deal with interviews and work, but I'll be back to the gym tomorrow. I think I'll even be looking forward to it. I'm not able to do that right now because all I want to do now is go to bed. soooo tiiiired....

2 down, 3 to go

38 days left of school!

I had the hardest interview I've had in a while today. I felt really badly afterwards-- angsty and tummy jumbled, if that makes sense. I didn't feel confident about my performance is really what it came down to. They asked me questions that were legitimately difficult, like "After analyzing our DRA (District Reading Assessment) scores from last year, how would you approach addressing the needs of children not meeting standard?" Uhhhhhh. I have to decipher score data? Say wha--?? And they also asked me difficult questions in the sense of them being difficult to come up with good answers, like "What is the most meaningful experience you have had as a teacher and propels you to continue teaching to this day?" Uhhhhh. Can I get back to you on that? Lordie. I guess, overall, I did okay. I probably even did well. But I hate being put on the spot and honestly, what is an interview if it isn't that? Being put on the spot not once but over and over, question after question. Sounds like the next 2 days are going to be fun doing it 3 more times, hm?!

Josh and I went to Trader Joe's afterwards because we were in need of some major grocery shopping. They have this new chocolate package that has 5 bars in it, 100 calories each. Ingenious! TJ's is always making me grin. I don't have chocolate cravings very often, but when I do I tend to indulge in, like, a brownie or a chocolate cookie which are both well over that 100 calorie mark. I like knowing that I can grab one of these and because it's pure dark chocolate it will satisfy completely and because it's 100 calories I can know that it's not breaking the daily caloric intake bank. Not that I count calories, but I know I work off way more than 100 calories in a gym visit so I feel okay indulging.

When we got home we made pizza from scratch and it was fun and yums all in one. Add that to the fact that it was another sunny day and I really can't complain, interview or no interview.

Janice moved out of the MIL in the basement and a new fella has moved in. Young guy. He's practicing his guitar right now. He's not bad but I hope he doesn't decide to practice all night. I might take issue with that, seeing as I do enjoy sleeping.

Sweeping the clouds away

Today was a glorious day of fun in the sun. I had planned to hike at Annette Lake today, but we had trouble motivating. Josh decided to make chorizo and eggs and pancakes for breakfast, so we had to sit on the couch for a post-food coma snuggle after that. Then we decided to take Lulu to Magnuson for a swim instead. The place was packed of course, with wet dogs passing us as we headed towards the water with looks of complete exhaustion on their happy faces. Swimming season for the pups has only just begun and none of them are yet conditioned to handle the energy their excitement encourages them to unleash.

Lulu proved once again that her breed was once a water dwelling animal as she swam great distances to retrieve everyone's balls, and sometimes her own. When it was obvious she couldn't take it anymore, we headed to the U district so I could do a quick workout at the gym and Josh could browse the books at Half Price. By the time we were done, we were starving so we headed to Fremont for some MAD Pizza to go and took it to GasWorks to picnic with a view. I almost convinced Josh to stop at Molly Moon's for dessert on the way home, but he insisted I'd have to eat it myself because he was full. I know ice cream is a bad decision on my part, and I won't allow myself to indulge alone. It's a good policy to have, but I'm still thinking of what flavors they might have had today in dairy-free sorbet....

Photo essay from the day:

Lulu opening swimming season with a vengeance!











Oh Gasworks, how I love thee...





sea plane landing



lulu soaking up belly rubs and sun kisses





Man, it sure was gorgeous today. I love, love, love you, sunshine! This week is going to be LONG, so I am especially thankful for today having been a treat. 4 interviews within the next few days is going to wipe me out. To prepare, I'm going to bed at a reasonable hour. Like 10. Or 11. Or...okay, 11:30 tops. For real.

picture pages

Just a couple of photos I want to take off my camera before I dig in to pizza and LOST Season 3 with Josh tonight:


my parents got me these flowers from Pike Place as a thank you on their last day




I made these cupcakes for Easter. I used this recipe from Ina Garten/The Barefoot Contessa. Thank you to Brooke for posting it and lending the jelly bean idea! They turned out great. Not too sweet and just the right consistency. I made them dairy-free. If you need to know how, just ask! I have a severe dairy allergy and Josh has a slight one. It was easy to do and the result was rockin'!


Lu and Daddy cuddling in the kitchen (of all places) :)

That's it for now. Maybe I'll post more later. Right now, pizza and snuggles are luring me away....

Oh! I can't believe Bea Arthur passed away! I am pretty sad to know that her presence will never grace another show. I loved the Golden Girls, even more after they reran them. R.I.P. Dorothy Szpornak.

the girls

the girls, originally uploaded by maus.

Todd babysat Lulu the day Mom, Dad, and Josh and I went to the San Juan Islands. She and Bella had a playdate at Discovery Park. Those two are beach bunnies all the way!!

SAM

SAM, originally uploaded by maus.

This is a picture from Mom and Dad's visit earlier this month. We went to SAM for the day and I took "illegal" photos of the electric car exhibit with my phone.

tee gee eye eff

I got another interview!!

Another one of my kids has been referred to CPS. That's only 3 in one school year (thus far), so I guess that isn't too bad. I know exactly why this one was referred and other teachers have been asking me about her for months. She's white, advantaged, from educated parents, but I don't believe her mother is the one who should be caring for her because she seems incapable of caring for herself. She's a kooky lady and she has trouble holding down a job, even though she's a software developer. She and her child always look malnourished and like they haven't slept enough. The area around Tallulah's eyes is always red and she frequently arrives in a dirty uniform. The mom has let Tallulah stay home from school 30 days this year so far. 30 days! And she has been late 42 days this year. Sometimes 5 minutes late, but usually an hour or 2. Her mother has told me Tallulah wants to stay home, so she lets her. I responded with, "Well, if someone gave me the option to stay home rather than go to work, I'd choose that too." Mom said, "Oh, I see your point." But she hasn't backed that up with actions.

I realize it's Kindergarten and to the general public that might be relative to daycare. But I promise you it isn't. Kindergarten expectations have increased to what 1st grade expectations used to be. My kids learn to read, to write sentences and poetry, to orally compose fluid stories with beginnings, middles and ends. They learn to skip count by 2's, 5's and 10's and they learn key concepts like symmetry and how to represent data using graphs and charts. Most importantly, I believe, they learn about group learning dynamics, independent study skills, and increase their social/emotional development through practicing consideration and respect and self-management techniques. We don't have nap time or finger painting. We do water colors and tissue collage and pottery (when I can afford the materials). Maybe Kindergarten should be what it once was. Sometimes I wonder if my kids would benefit more from a full day of playtime, snacktime, and naps in between. But the world is more demanding now and they grow up a lot faster. And when I approach them with these "big kid" concepts, they really seem ready for it. They dive in and they are so excited when they "get it".

I think I forget how much I love teaching K because I'm dealing with a psychopath in my class. Today, he was removed by the principal because he refused to come back to the classroom after recess. The decision to do that is not one I agree with, (Why don't we just let him make all the rules?) but... I was actually able to enjoy my class for the remainder of the day. I could connect with my kids without worrying about him hurting them or cursing at them. I got to give attention to the kids who deserve it most but don't get it because they self-manage so well. It was the way it should be every day.

Looking forward, never back

I had my first interview for next year's job prospects. It was at Thornton Creek, where I did my student teaching and I devoted a lot of myself for 2 years. I knew more than half of the interview committee personally and I know from one of my bff's that teaches there that they already have someone else in mind for the job. So I didn't take it too seriously. It was good practice. And overall, I did pretty well. It took me about 3 questions to get over my initial nervousness and I didn't include everything that I could have, but I think I did more than well. Part of me thinks it would be a job I should nab in a heartbeat if they actually offered it to me and part of me thinks it wouldn't be the right place for me since I'm always up for a challenge and I'm really too comfortable there. Is there such a thing as "too comfortable"? And really, after the nightmare this year has been, should I be shying away from that? I guess I'll worry about that if they ask me to accept....or if no one else does.

The thing that makes me happiest is that 3 other schools have already called me for interviews next week. That means almost half of the jobs I applied for have asked me to interview. Even though I feel good about it, I still find myself wondering, "What about Coe? And Olympic Hills? And the others?" I guess I'm not truly happy until I'm wanted by everyone. :)

The best feeling of all is that I have only 8 weeks left of teaching at my current school. Sounds like a lot, but it's NOTHING in the grand scheme of things. No matter what comes next year, it will undoubtedly be better than this. This day to day experience is just too much. -For my emotional well-being above all else. I will miss my kids, most definitely, and I value the experience, but lord help me I AM DONE. When June begins to disappear, I will be able to say "I'm outta here!" and that will be the best feeling of all.

Men are from Mars

Uch. I'm so irritated. It's 11 pm and Josh just got home from hanging out with a friend. Now, I am totally in support of friendships, being independent, and having fun. I'm not in support of being inconsiderate, though. I called Josh at 4:15 practically in tears because my stress level was so high with all this crap that happened at work. He was preoccupied with his own work, but listened to me vent and said nice things. I said I was maybe going to skip the gym, then we hung up. I ended up going to the gym anyway and at 7, when I left, I called him. We were supposed to go to a show tonight at 7:30 but I knew neither of us were impassioned about going so I decided against it when I realized the time. I thought it was weird he hadn't tried to call me though. When he picked up, it was loud on the other end. He told me he was having a drink with Alan at Prost. Then he said, "Oh are we going to a show tonight?" I told him it didn't seem like it (due to the time) and he said he would be home soon for dinner. I got home and started dinner and showered and all of that. No Josh. I ate dinner, watched tv, did dishes and laundry and then it was 9. No Josh. He called at 9 to say he wouldn't be home for dinner and would be eating out (You think?!?!?). I told him I was irritated. He said, "I'm sorry, babe. Do you want me to come home right now?" I told him that he should just eat and come home because I wasn't about to tell him in front of his friend that he needed to leave. That really wasn't the point anyway. So he said he'd be home within the hour. That was 2 hours ago. I put a note on the bedroom door that said, "Please don't wake me. Thanks for sleeping on the couch." Obviously, I did it to be a bitch. But I want him to know how irritated I am! I heard him come into the hall, read the note and kind of half-laugh, half-groan. Part of me wants to confront him, but the other part knows it would be a horrible idea. I don't need to fight with him at 11 pm and regret it. Plus I think I should sleep on it and address it when I'm rested and calm.

One of the things that is bothering me is who Josh was hanging out with. I like Alan, but I worry that he's a bad influence on Josh. He's not into drugs or crime. Alan is a single guy with no priorities. He's not a loser; he's a hippie. Not in the sense that he's dirty but in the sense that he's probably 39 or 40 and just extremely free. In the 2 years I've known him, he's never had a relationship or dated anyone, he's never had a long-term place of residence, he kind of works when he wants to and often doesn't without being stressed about money, and he has no real commitments of any kind. Sounds okay, I guess, but I also think it sounds kind of lonely. And being 40 without roots in anyone, anything or any place is....risky.

Alan is the person Josh hangs out with more than anyone else here. He has a good time with him and that's the part I truly support. I guess I just wonder if Josh loses a sense of commitment and priority when he's around him. That's not the guy I wanted to be with. That's not the guy I want to be with.

And all in all, this whole post, the way I feel throughout it, makes me feel guilty. Like I'm possessive or controlling or needy. I don't feel that way inside, but admitting these other feelings makes me feel badly. Are they valid feelings?

missing lu

It's two in the afternoon and I can't get my butt off the couch. Man, I have had some LAZY weekends! Josh and I went to Vicky's birthday party at Sharonne's house last night and I definitely drank too much. I didn't get sick, but I know I likely would have if I hadn't stopped drinking when I did. I just can't hold my liquor anymore! It was a fun time and I really loved seeing the girls I bonded with over girls' weekend a while back. What made me most happy is that Josh and I had fun together. We never really go out with people together anymore, so it was really great to be able to have a good time simultaneously for a change! We got to chatting with a really nice woman, Lauren, whose husband works at Microsoft. She is originally from Houston, but met her husband at UT Austin and told us how much they love and miss Austin. They plan to move back there in a few years to have kids. I have heard so many awesome things about Austin, even though it's in Texas. I want to go visit. She asked us lots of questions about dogs because she and her husband are thinking of adopting soon. It was a good conversation, but in retrospect I realize how much it was like being at a party talking to people about your kids. How did I get so old? ;)

This morning, Josh woke up way too early and packed Lulu up for a trip to Port Townsend. They are helping Alan put a new fence up on his property, so they likely won't be back til tomorrow. I miss them already :(. I'm supposed to attend a fundraiser dinner for Todd's Amazon excursion this summer, but I haven't been able to find a date! Everyone has prior plans for tonight, including those that wanted me to spend the evening with them going to the Roller Derby bout. I won't be able to eat any of the food at the dinner, most likely, but I do really want to support Todd. I'll send him a text, I think, letting him know I'll stop by, but I'd rather help him in any way I can rather than sit down solo and pretend to eat.

I need to find my way to the gym before that. Sadly, I appear to be gaining weight even though I've regularly been gymming 5-6 days a week. I think I'm eating more, too, because I'm hungrier now that I'm working out more. Hopefully it will all work itself out in a few weeks or I'm going to start to feel discouraged!

I hope Lulu and the boys are having a good time.....

this and that

I applied for 6 jobs last night. Tonight, I'll apply for 6 more. I should really be on top of it right now, but it feels nicer to procrastinate. I HATE applying for jobs. Especially when there is a time limit. I just hate time limits in general. Makes me want to say, "Screw it" even though I know I can't. Poo.

I want to go to Vegas. There have been so many great deals. I know I can't afford it, but I really just want to jet set. I need a break from life!

rooted

With planning a visit to see Gabe, Josh having to get his business taxes done by 4/15, me needing to apply to jobs this week and interview soon after, I talked Josh into asking Janice if we could rescind our notice to move out. He agreed! Better yet, so did she!!!!! Yay! We can stay, we can stay, we can stay.

Turns out, she's trying to get someone else to move into the MIL apartment under the house, so we wouldn't even have to deal with her anymore if she ends up being successful at getting a new tentant! That would mean we could even end up liking living here 100%, since that means she'd be moving out. Yippee!!!! I would love to live here until we move into a place of our own. Fingers crossed.

Had the best workout today. Just kicked some major bootay.

Also. Think I grabbed Jarred's arm too hard when he tried to ruin the paints today, after screaming "I hate you! You are disgusting!" and then emitting ear-piercing shrill screams at the top of his lungs. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it to the end of the year without smacking him. I don't believe in hitting kids, even if they are my own flesh and blood, but when there is a child so hateful and mean in your "care" 5 days a week, 7 hours a day, you can only take so much abuse before you just want to hurt him back. GAH! Horrible situation. Tomorrow, I start therapy. Long overdue.

Okay, procrastinating on writing my cover letters. Back to the grind....

like sands in the hourglass

To follow up on all of the drama I posted re: Josh and my relationship, in short, we are staying together. We are moving to a new place at the end of this month, together, and all in all ... I hope I don't regret it. I love him. I want it to work. But I have difficulty trusting that he's, as my friend Buster would say, "in it to win it". In terms of moving, I am really bummed about it. I know our landlord is annoying, but we live in a nice house in an absolutely perfect location. Josh has been pushing to move for a year now. I finally gave in because I can't afford this place by myself so if he's unhappy here the only option is that we both go elsewhere. Browsing Craigslist is such a chore and there are few places that I like that also would welcome Lulu. Naturally, there is nothing available in our neighborhood that we can afford. We pay a really good price for what we get. Secretly, I want to tell our landlord we were kidding and we're not moving. But I know it's for the best. If Josh is uncomfortable with her, I owe it to him to try something new.

We heard that Gabe is out of the coma, has had two surgeries, and had 7 plates and 30 screws inserted into his head and face. He also had to have cheek implants since his were shattered to oblivion, and he had a tracheotomy done in order to breathe because his face is so swollen. The imagery I get when I think of that makes me feel horrible. My poor Gabey. We are planning for Josh to go down there in a week. I don't believe I can go because it's just too painful for me to see him. I would cry the whole time and Gabe doesn't need that. I would like to go down there just to see Grandma and be a support for Josh when he comes home from visiting Gabe in the hospital at night, but I don't think we can afford to get two tickets. --Especially when we're going to need to pay First Last and Deposit at a new place in the next couple of weeks.

I am trying to coordinate the guys at the station in FW to put a video together for Gabe so Josh can take it down there with him. I just need to see about getting the video camera--either from Mom and Dad if theirs is able to transfer to DVD--or see if one of the guys has one. I'd also like K to be able to borrow it so she can tape the people at his old work sending him well wishes. I think it would be incredibly therapeutic for his emotional state--and also maybe help to convince him he should move back to FW to be with his girls and be safe with the people who love him.

Tomorrow, we're having Easter dinner at Josh's cousin's house. I have only met Matt briefly twice, but I think he's a really nice guy. Josh is not a fan of his know-it-all wife, but I think it's important we accepted the invitation since Josh will also get to see his Aunt and thus reconnect with some family that he has in the area.

I am so lazy today. We really need to go look at places to live, but Josh is working so we'll have to wait til later. For now, I've given myself permission to laze around. If I was more disciplined, I would go mail my cousin's baby gift (especially since she already had him a week ago--oops!), go work out at the gym, take Lulu out to play, and/or attack the laundry that is presently attacking the bedroom floor. But the couch is really comfy. And did I mention I feel lazy? I do.

Spring Art

When it rains in Seattle (because it isn't every day like we might have you think it is!), my kids don't get to play outside. Even though I fully believe rain can't hurt them and shouldn't prevent their play time, the school's reluctance is based on how wet they get and will have to remain for the rest of the day if we give in. Rainy day recess means a lot of pent up energy and a shorter lunch break for teachers. Needless to say, we are not fans of rainy day recess at my school. :(

This morning, it rained, but closer to lunchtime, the sun was making its way out from behind the clouds. I heard one of my little ones making up a song as I passed by her desk during morning work time. I can't remember it entirely, but this part sticks in my brain and I thought it was kind of a catchy tune:

Sunshine, sunshine,
won't you stay
You're the reason
I get to play

Too cute! I decided we are going to write a class song tomorrow about the sun. Then we are going to make butterfly art to solidify their understanding of symmetry.

I cut out 25 identical butterfly shapes from white construction paper so each will have a butterfly of their own. Then I will give them 3 dabs of paint to share with their table partners. They can use the paint with cotton balls to paint one winged side of the butterfly, then we will fold the butterfly in half and open them again so the same image they painted on one side will appear on the other. To complete the project, I will give them each a pipe cleaner to cut in half, then they will poke each half into the top of the head of the butterfly to serve as the butterfly's attenae.

I'll read Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar to them again in the morning to refresh their memory of key words like metamorphosis and cocoon. Then we'll have a great display for the wall in the hall outside of our room as well.

Yay for a creative day!

I'm off to take Lulu out for a quick play time before I jet off to Pilates.

Snippets

Oh my gawd I have gas today. (just what you were dying to know, right?!) But for real it is so PAINful. Uch. At the gym, I had to keep going into the bathroom between machines to try and toot. I was not successful and the needed process was incredibly annoying. Despite the bloat, I had a pretty good workout. Tomorrow is my last day of Pilates, which I'm actually happy about, and I'll be going to the gym every day. This week it's just the days I don't have Pilates. I've been twice so far. It's good. I'm looking forward to the results of working out regularly again.

On the way home, I noticed the SMART car down the street no longer had the sign in their back window: My other car is a rollerskate. I'm glad. I never understood that. What does that mean?

gymboree

I joined a new gym today. After school, I worked out on the elliptical for the first time since last summer. It felt really, really good! I also lifted some dumbbells, but it wasn't a major workout. I just wanted to get a feel for the place before I signed up. It's a total no-frills gym with the second smallest locker room I've ever seen, no exercise classes and barely any tv's. I really think it'll work out for me, though, because it's a) on the way home from school for me, b)filled with plenty of sunlight/windows, and c) isn't a meat market. I really loved the gym I tried out last summer in Ballard, but that one's twice the price and just not the best location for me. I do miss the plush dressing rooms and the steam room and jacuzzi, though. Oh well. The point of this is really for me to just get a basic daily cardio session in. In my workout gear and all the mirrors, I realized just how fatastic I've gotten. I have none of the upper arm definition I used to have and my belly is housing a small individual inside of it, it seems. Yuck. Glad I'm taking care of business finally. I plan to go every day that I don't have Pilates so I'll be back there on Wednesday. If I can just feel like the old me again, I'll be happy. Bikini-ready is not my goal, but a welcome benefit should that occur. :)

hoping for hope

We had the most beautiful weather today: 69 degrees and sunny. It was so warm, I was able to wear a tank top and keep all the doors and windows open. Lulu was in love. She laid on the front porch and in the back yard intermittently, soaking in the rays of the sun. I played with her for a little bit, but mostly cleaned. I kept meaning to take her to the park and even talked about doing that with Josh when he got home from his CPAT orientation, but the unusual warmth got the spring cleaning bug into me and I just couldn't stop doing things around the house! Before I knew it, it was time for her dinner.

Around 6, Josh got a phone call with horrible, horrible news. His friend Gabe was involved in some type of random attack. No one is yet really clear what happened, but what is clear are the results. He is in the hospital in an induced coma because his brain is swollen. His whole face is shattered--his forehead, his nose, his jaw... I don't know the details of the rest of his body, but this alone sent me into huge gasping tears. Gabe is such an important figure in my life with Josh. He was the first friend of Josh's that I met and the person we went out with most when we all lived in the same place. I have a great amount of love for him and our relationship has always been so happy and genuine. If Josh and I were to be married and have a wedding large enough, he would surely be our Best Man. That's what he means to Josh and thus how greatly this impacts him. I feel helpless being so far away, though I know distance has little to do with how I could help. If we went down to California, it would be pointless. Sitting by his bedside is reserved for his family. I am just so glad they are all there with him. It does make me wish we could be with all the people who love him like we do. I emailed K on FB to tell her about it, and it was nice to at least connect with someone who could understand how I'm feeling.

I am dreading going back to school tomorrow. I really wish we had another day at least. It will be difficult to get back into the swing of things. Especially after a day of so many tears. I'm exhausted.

roadrunner

The other day mom told me that in Europe they've been giving people who have older cars a stipend with which to purchase a new one in order to stimulate the economy. She said Obama is wanting to do the same thing. My interest was definitely peaked since I've been wanting to part ways with my trusty 9-year-old redmobile. I scoured the web for info and found this:

Depending on the legislation, the program would offer $3,000 to $7,000 cash for your trade-in vehicle, as long as that vehicle is 8 years old or getting worse than 18 miles per gallon. Any one of those numbers could change as legislators shape the bill, but it probably will include most or all foreign or American cars.

A similar incentive program helped motivate buyers in Europe. The idea here is the same with all three programs - to help not only struggling automakers, but all the ancillary businesses that are tied to the industry's success.

on this newsblog.

I really, really hope it goes through. I asked mom how long she thought it might take and she said it would have to happen soon, in order to help the economy when it needs it most. This means I could have a new car in my future!!!!!! Wheeeeeee!!!

rumbles in my tumbles

This week has been non-stop! Mom and Dad visiting has been so much fun and I'm really sad to have to take them to the airport in 9 short hours (most of which I'll be sleeping away, I hope!). Currently, my belly is uncomfortably bulging with an incredibly yummy dinner from Oceanaire. I can't believe it was $270 for the four of us, but it was truly delish so I can accept it. Unfortunately, though, I'd like to throw it all up with the discomfort I feel in my overstuffed tummy. Seriously. Eating well and overdoing it are two different things. I'll have to keep this in mind in the future. It's been a long time since I've eaten that much in one sitting and I don't ever want to eat again at this point. My workout plan MUST start tomorrow without fail. I'm extra motivated since I tried on clothes for the last two days, depressed with the state of my body under those harsh flourescent lights they have in dressing rooms. Whoever thought that was a good idea, btw? Low, romantic lighting is the only way clothing stores will ever be successful at stimulating the economy!

We have done so much this week and it was the best distraction from the state of affairs of my personal life. I really do love having family around me. Too bad it's only once in a great while. In the next few days, I may try to record our adventures. If mom and dad upload the pics from their visit, I'll have a photo essay to add as well.

Josh got a letter from his old company's lawyer today. They are threatening to sue him if he doesn't close his business or at least relocate it and operate at least 30 miles outside of the Metro area. He signed a non-compete when he started with them, but I fail to see how Josh's one-man operation is competition for a 20-man million $ empire. The stupid economy is to blame for this greed, but of course I am affected emotionally by this situation. I have always defended his old boss while Josh and his old coworkers criticized him and said he was greedy and unethical. I never expected he would have pulled this. It's wrong. Josh is struggling to make his company successful, and it has not made any kind of real profit yet. In all honesty, it will probably never be of the magnitude that this guy's company has reached after 27 years. If it is, it will take him nearly just as long, I'm sure. I suppose J should take it as a compliment that there is a fear he will actually threaten a million dollar business with his skill and business sense. All in all, though, it's a pain in the butt. According to the letter, Josh has 14 days to close his business. If he doesn't comply, they will take legal action. This means legal fees and having to put a hold on his business during the "fight". There's a good chance Josh could win since it's not likely the non-compete contract will hold up in court. But if Josh has to even put his business on hold, it's a bad situation for him financially. If Josh can't do this work, I don't know what he'll do. He's not really skilled to do anything else and the economy isn't such that he can just go get any random job. The non-compete says he can't work for anyone in the same industry either, meaning he can't even do the work for someone else...not that there are jobs available. In the morning, he'll be contacting free legal advice to see what the options are. We'll worry about things then, I suppose, but that isn't stopping me from thinking ahead. Worse case scenario is that he'll have to move in order to continue to do the same work/have the same business. It's not an impossible scenario but it sure isn't ideal. That means starting over essentially and the market in another area is an uncertain one. Not to mention that he'd have to figure out where he would want to live. If we stay together, that means I'd be moving too. Since I'm not exactly employed yet for next year, that would be feasible for me. BUT, again, it wasn't an expected plan. With the recent talk we had, my mind is not prepared to consider picking up and moving away with him, even if it's only an hour or two from here. We had considered a move to a cheaper area once before, but that idea had kind of been laid to rest. We decided we liked it here and I have a good chance of getting re-hired in this school district. Who knows what my chances would be elsewhere with the job market being what it is? Ugh.

Maybe my tummy is gurgling with more than a food baby. Stress makes for a pretty unhappy tum, too. I'm going to try to sleep and put my mind to rest. I have a feeling Friday is going to be a day for which I'll need to be well-rested.