Nikki is coming over in 15 minutes and we're going to a Pizza joint to meet some of my co-workers for trivia. I am glad to be able to go, but wish I was seeing some of my favorite people there. Trivia is pretty fun, but it's more fun with the people I love. I count Nikki as one of them, so that's something to celebrate. I just always want it all!
I am feeling kind of glum because I was just looking at some cute photos of someone's baby and another person's wedding and it always puts me in the mode of "Man, they're so lucky. I wish I had that." I know a photo is a captured second of someone's life and doesn't represent the whole "picture" (har har), but I always find myself imagining that it's a representation of every second in their lives. If only life really were one happy picture after another...
School has been really manageable lately, which is a nice break from the overwhelmingness of previous weeks. Feeling healthier really helps make things feel easier. I've been enjoying my kids so much. They are so darn cute. Even the ones that drive me nuts make my days worthwhile.
Still no idea where I'll be moving. I noticed that our landlord placed an ad for our place, saying it will be available Dec.1. While she hasn't said a word about it to us, that date suits me just fine. Josh actually wishes it was Nov. 1 just so we could be in a better situation sooner, but that date would be freaking me out. I can't look for and find a new home, pack and move and clean this place to my satisfaction within a week and some change. That's nuts. He's very unrealistic with things at times, I find. Is this a man-ism, or just him? I think I give him a lot of leeway sometimes by blaming his less pleasant characteristics and behaviors on man-isms. Like how he went off on the landlord in the first place. *groan*
The days are getting shorter and the nights longer. This will all be sped up by the adoption of the time change this weekend. I am really dreading it. In Seattle, due to our Latitude, I think, it gets dark around 5 in the winter. The bonus is that it gets dark around 10 in the summer, but I'd rather be middle of the road year round than living in such light and dark extremes each season. Darkness makes me tired and unmotivated. I don't need any help in that area when it's so chilly outside to boot! It's going to be a netflix happy winter, I do believe...
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
venting novella
Well, we're moving. After living in our house for just over 2 years and going back and forth on the idea of finding a new place, the decision has been made (for us). I've been thinking this was a good idea for quite some time, but it has always felt easier to just accept that our landlord situation isn't ideal and ignore the irritations we've felt because moving is so stressful. But Josh finally lost it on her and now we've been asked to leave.
*heavy sigh*
When we first moved in, we knew our landlord was a little "different". She told us WAY too much personal information beginning with our first meeting: about her husband whom she married for the benefits who didn't live here but who would visit on occassion, about her boyfriends (current and past), about her son who had been in and out of jail, and about her dogs who all suffered from medical or emotional issues. Despite the fact that we knew she would be occupying the mother-in-law below our home, we moved in because we liked the house and the neighborhood and, honestly, because we just couldn't find anything else of which I could approve. She would continue to invade our personal space by sharing too many details about her personal life whenever we had the misfortune of running into her on the front steps or in the front yard, boyfriends would come and go, her "husband" would come and go at all hours of the day and night, they would fight and sometimes the police would even come, but still we tolerated it for a long time. Her dogs would be left alone in her place for days at a time and they would yap/bark incessantly. There were mornings I would wake up to that and scream in frustration. We should have moved. I know.
Then the dryer stopped working. Our landlord seemed irritated that we told her about this and she simply said, "Well, it always worked for me when I lived there." (She had her own washer/dryer in her unit.) It was temperamental so we accepted that we would just have to live it working on and off. Then she would have people come to our home to do remodeling. We would rarely receive notice about this, so I began to grow accustomed to people just showing up. Then the people she would hire would start knocking on our door (she had a separate entrance) asking for payment and telling us she wouldn't return their phone calls. Josh would get really pissed about this, understandably, but we never confronted her. We should have moved. I know.
Over a year ago, our dishwasher stopped working and we complained, but again she said, "Well it always worked for me." She also told us when we moved in that the dishwasher was the original (Which is obvious. It's very 1960's retro, which I do like.) The lady is clearly on another planet, so I didn't push the issue. We just started doing all the dishes by hand. This wears on you though, and the sink piles up really quickly when we're both busy which drives us both nuts. We should have moved out. I know.
Last year, we seriously started looking at new places and then Josh and I started having differences and considered living apart, so we started looking at places of our own. But then we decided to stay together and we abandoned the idea of moving because he was working on building his business and I was stressed out in my job. Suddenly, like a gift from baby Jesus, she started talking about moving out. We thought this was the answer to our prayers. Things would be so much better without her here! And we were right to some degree. At least now we don't have to deal with her dogs or her husband and their drama or her rotating boyfriends. But we didn't take into account that she was still our landlord and we would have to rely on her to fix things that broke. Josh even ended up fixing the dryer himself by removing the dryer duct and cleaning it out. It was so built up in there, it's lucky the house didn't burn down. Which reminds me, she did almost burn down our house once when she left a chicken cooking for too long while she was gone from the house. I came home to the smoke alarms going off in her part of the house and had to call the fire department. When they broke open the door to her place, smoke came gushing out in waves. Our house smelled like fire for days. We should have moved. I know.
A leaking bathtub, basement flooding damaging our luggage, ...the list is actually quite extensive....
Anyway, finally we'd had enough with the dishwasher issue and we told her it needed to be fixed NOW. Ever since she moved out, she's been living in a trailer on her ex-hsuband's property where her adult son also resides. Her son has been pretty responsive if he's around when we complain about something. Sure enough, she told us to expect a delivery on Saturday between noon and 4. So I stayed home on Saturday much to my chagrin. At around 2, the dishwasher guy shows up from Home Depot and says, "I can't install it. The current dishwasher is too far from the sink in its current configuration. You'll need a plumber and probably a contractor. Well, of course I knew the dishwasher was NOT going to ever be installed because she would never consent to spending that kind of money. When the delivery guy called her to relay all of this, she said, "Well just leave the new one there." I said, "Wait; hold up. Can I talk to her please?" I told her there was no point in leaving the dw here based on what he said and she told me, "Oh he doesn't know what he's talking about. I'll have my family members put it in." I called Josh then and relayed this to him. When he got home, he told me he had called her and told her exactly how he felt on her voicemail. "Oh my god, no", was the first thought from my brain. I told him that was NOT a good idea and then I got filled with anxiety. Josh does not have the filter that I have. He does not have a "calming mechanism". In the heat of the moment, Josh says whatever is on his mind. No holding back. I felt sick worrying about the ramifications.
Ramifications arrived at 5:06 pm today when she finally returned his phone call. I immediately heard yelling on her end and Josh promptly yelled at her in response. Name calling ensued. I kept pleading, "Calm Calm Calm", as though that would magically make them become rational adults. I finally had to walk away because I was ready to pull the phone out of his hands and end the call. Josh came to me after the phone call and said, "We have until the end of the year and then we have to move out." I started to tell him how I felt when his phone rang. It was her son. Within a minute, Josh and he were in a full on accusation match, both of them started cursing and Josh began calling him a loser for having been in and out of jail. The jail part is factual info, known to us because of the landlord's poor judgment in telling us way too much personal information all the time. Still, it had no place in a conversation about the dishwasher or any other conversation for that matter. Josh was just trying to put him down. I was in disbelief. I kept saying, "Just hang up" so finally he did. I was incredulous and speechless. Before I could say anything, the phone rang again. I said, "Give me the phone." He did. The son began and I interrupted and said, "Look, this has all gotten way out of control." He agreed and we continued to discuss the situation. He was very calm and well-spoken and I told him that I cannot justify Josh's behavior, but I wanted him (son) to know the basis of Josh's emotions. I talked about how things in the house hadn't been done like they should have, how she would violate our rights as her tenants by having people come over come into our home to do work without notice, and how people would harass us for money for work she wouldn't pay for. He talked a lot about how he had tried very hard to respond to our concerns as soon as he heard of them and I thanked him for that but also told him that he is not our landlord and it's not his responsibility. I told him that I am very uncomfortable with everything that's happened in the last 2 days and think that it's the best thing to dissolve our relationship. He said he thought that it would be best if we started looking for a new place right away, but that it was his mother's call and he would have her call me to tell us what she would like us to do. He knows she gave us to the end of the year but that has probably changed. For my sake, I know I need to leave as soon as possible and go somewhere I can live comfortably and peacefully without fear of backlash. After I got off the phone with the son, I took a few moments to hold my head in my hands and breathe. I then went back into the house and told Josh how disappointed I was in his behavior. I told him I know he has over 2 years of animosity built up, but this was not the way to handle it and especially because it affected me as well as him. He apologized and I could tell by his demeanor that he was sorry for what had happened. I know he can't actually guarantee his future behavior, but I asked him to promise me something like this would never happen again. He quickly and adamantly agreed. Of course, all that is mute right now. The current situation is something that still has my nerves all jittery and I'm beyond stressed about adding finding a new place to live, packing, and actually moving to my list of October duties. On top of all of this, I am so MAD at Josh for behaving like this, I am disappointed that we can't use this as a former residence referral, and I'm really worried about coming up with first month's rent, last month's rent and a deposit for a new place that will also accommodate Lulu. *scream* We should have moved. I know.
The house hunt begins now.
*heavy sigh*
When we first moved in, we knew our landlord was a little "different". She told us WAY too much personal information beginning with our first meeting: about her husband whom she married for the benefits who didn't live here but who would visit on occassion, about her boyfriends (current and past), about her son who had been in and out of jail, and about her dogs who all suffered from medical or emotional issues. Despite the fact that we knew she would be occupying the mother-in-law below our home, we moved in because we liked the house and the neighborhood and, honestly, because we just couldn't find anything else of which I could approve. She would continue to invade our personal space by sharing too many details about her personal life whenever we had the misfortune of running into her on the front steps or in the front yard, boyfriends would come and go, her "husband" would come and go at all hours of the day and night, they would fight and sometimes the police would even come, but still we tolerated it for a long time. Her dogs would be left alone in her place for days at a time and they would yap/bark incessantly. There were mornings I would wake up to that and scream in frustration. We should have moved. I know.
Then the dryer stopped working. Our landlord seemed irritated that we told her about this and she simply said, "Well, it always worked for me when I lived there." (She had her own washer/dryer in her unit.) It was temperamental so we accepted that we would just have to live it working on and off. Then she would have people come to our home to do remodeling. We would rarely receive notice about this, so I began to grow accustomed to people just showing up. Then the people she would hire would start knocking on our door (she had a separate entrance) asking for payment and telling us she wouldn't return their phone calls. Josh would get really pissed about this, understandably, but we never confronted her. We should have moved. I know.
Over a year ago, our dishwasher stopped working and we complained, but again she said, "Well it always worked for me." She also told us when we moved in that the dishwasher was the original (Which is obvious. It's very 1960's retro, which I do like.) The lady is clearly on another planet, so I didn't push the issue. We just started doing all the dishes by hand. This wears on you though, and the sink piles up really quickly when we're both busy which drives us both nuts. We should have moved out. I know.
Last year, we seriously started looking at new places and then Josh and I started having differences and considered living apart, so we started looking at places of our own. But then we decided to stay together and we abandoned the idea of moving because he was working on building his business and I was stressed out in my job. Suddenly, like a gift from baby Jesus, she started talking about moving out. We thought this was the answer to our prayers. Things would be so much better without her here! And we were right to some degree. At least now we don't have to deal with her dogs or her husband and their drama or her rotating boyfriends. But we didn't take into account that she was still our landlord and we would have to rely on her to fix things that broke. Josh even ended up fixing the dryer himself by removing the dryer duct and cleaning it out. It was so built up in there, it's lucky the house didn't burn down. Which reminds me, she did almost burn down our house once when she left a chicken cooking for too long while she was gone from the house. I came home to the smoke alarms going off in her part of the house and had to call the fire department. When they broke open the door to her place, smoke came gushing out in waves. Our house smelled like fire for days. We should have moved. I know.
A leaking bathtub, basement flooding damaging our luggage, ...the list is actually quite extensive....
Anyway, finally we'd had enough with the dishwasher issue and we told her it needed to be fixed NOW. Ever since she moved out, she's been living in a trailer on her ex-hsuband's property where her adult son also resides. Her son has been pretty responsive if he's around when we complain about something. Sure enough, she told us to expect a delivery on Saturday between noon and 4. So I stayed home on Saturday much to my chagrin. At around 2, the dishwasher guy shows up from Home Depot and says, "I can't install it. The current dishwasher is too far from the sink in its current configuration. You'll need a plumber and probably a contractor. Well, of course I knew the dishwasher was NOT going to ever be installed because she would never consent to spending that kind of money. When the delivery guy called her to relay all of this, she said, "Well just leave the new one there." I said, "Wait; hold up. Can I talk to her please?" I told her there was no point in leaving the dw here based on what he said and she told me, "Oh he doesn't know what he's talking about. I'll have my family members put it in." I called Josh then and relayed this to him. When he got home, he told me he had called her and told her exactly how he felt on her voicemail. "Oh my god, no", was the first thought from my brain. I told him that was NOT a good idea and then I got filled with anxiety. Josh does not have the filter that I have. He does not have a "calming mechanism". In the heat of the moment, Josh says whatever is on his mind. No holding back. I felt sick worrying about the ramifications.
Ramifications arrived at 5:06 pm today when she finally returned his phone call. I immediately heard yelling on her end and Josh promptly yelled at her in response. Name calling ensued. I kept pleading, "Calm Calm Calm", as though that would magically make them become rational adults. I finally had to walk away because I was ready to pull the phone out of his hands and end the call. Josh came to me after the phone call and said, "We have until the end of the year and then we have to move out." I started to tell him how I felt when his phone rang. It was her son. Within a minute, Josh and he were in a full on accusation match, both of them started cursing and Josh began calling him a loser for having been in and out of jail. The jail part is factual info, known to us because of the landlord's poor judgment in telling us way too much personal information all the time. Still, it had no place in a conversation about the dishwasher or any other conversation for that matter. Josh was just trying to put him down. I was in disbelief. I kept saying, "Just hang up" so finally he did. I was incredulous and speechless. Before I could say anything, the phone rang again. I said, "Give me the phone." He did. The son began and I interrupted and said, "Look, this has all gotten way out of control." He agreed and we continued to discuss the situation. He was very calm and well-spoken and I told him that I cannot justify Josh's behavior, but I wanted him (son) to know the basis of Josh's emotions. I talked about how things in the house hadn't been done like they should have, how she would violate our rights as her tenants by having people come over come into our home to do work without notice, and how people would harass us for money for work she wouldn't pay for. He talked a lot about how he had tried very hard to respond to our concerns as soon as he heard of them and I thanked him for that but also told him that he is not our landlord and it's not his responsibility. I told him that I am very uncomfortable with everything that's happened in the last 2 days and think that it's the best thing to dissolve our relationship. He said he thought that it would be best if we started looking for a new place right away, but that it was his mother's call and he would have her call me to tell us what she would like us to do. He knows she gave us to the end of the year but that has probably changed. For my sake, I know I need to leave as soon as possible and go somewhere I can live comfortably and peacefully without fear of backlash. After I got off the phone with the son, I took a few moments to hold my head in my hands and breathe. I then went back into the house and told Josh how disappointed I was in his behavior. I told him I know he has over 2 years of animosity built up, but this was not the way to handle it and especially because it affected me as well as him. He apologized and I could tell by his demeanor that he was sorry for what had happened. I know he can't actually guarantee his future behavior, but I asked him to promise me something like this would never happen again. He quickly and adamantly agreed. Of course, all that is mute right now. The current situation is something that still has my nerves all jittery and I'm beyond stressed about adding finding a new place to live, packing, and actually moving to my list of October duties. On top of all of this, I am so MAD at Josh for behaving like this, I am disappointed that we can't use this as a former residence referral, and I'm really worried about coming up with first month's rent, last month's rent and a deposit for a new place that will also accommodate Lulu. *scream* We should have moved. I know.
The house hunt begins now.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Falling for Fall
It was such a beautiful day today! So warm and sunny....yet crisp and full of rainbow colored trees. And I had so much fun. Josh and I had brunch at Maltby and then we checked out an antique store. Josh hates shopping and I don't like to go antiquing on my own, but when we shop at an antique store together, we both have fun. After that, we went for our annual pumpkin hunt at Craven Farm in Snohomish. It was a beautiful day for a drive and even more beautiful for a tromp in a pumpkin patch. I got some farm-fresh salsa and unsweetened apple butter to go with our family of pumpkins.
See? There's Josh, Lulu, and me!
We stopped at Mud Bay on the way home and I tried some things on Lulu, like this adorable fleece and corduroy coat:
She rocked it like no other, but it was a splurge buy I wasn't willing to make. Another day.
Now we have laundry to tackle and I have some things to do for school. I want to ignore it all and watch Earth, the Disney movie that just came out on DVD and snuggle with Josh on the couch. I might find a way to do it all. We'll see. First step: Get off the computer!
See? There's Josh, Lulu, and me!
We stopped at Mud Bay on the way home and I tried some things on Lulu, like this adorable fleece and corduroy coat:
She rocked it like no other, but it was a splurge buy I wasn't willing to make. Another day.
Now we have laundry to tackle and I have some things to do for school. I want to ignore it all and watch Earth, the Disney movie that just came out on DVD and snuggle with Josh on the couch. I might find a way to do it all. We'll see. First step: Get off the computer!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sicko
The last couple of days, I have sounded like this: *sniff* *sniff* *blow* *cough* *blow* *cough* (and repeat)
Tonight, I sound mostly like this: *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *moan*
I'm finally draining, but it's resulting in lots of coughing and throat clearing and...well...I'd like to be done. I can stand the vice on my head. I can stand the plugged and popping ears. I can even stand the nose blowing even though my nose is so tender and sore now. I just can't stand the coughing and throat clearing. It hurts my throat and every time I cough, my head pounds. I'm pretty sure Josh is going to make me sleep on the porch tonight to allow for a quiet night's rest.
I ran a bunch of errands today, even though I should have stayed in bed. I rested all day yesterday and it drove me to near insanity. Also, there was much I needed to accomplish before work tomorrow. When I went to grab my photos and sharpies at Target, I also browsed the clothing. I am at a loss for what is going on with fashion these days. I hated everything I saw. It was either boring, ugly, or made of hihghly flammable material. I don't want to wear clothing that might set my body to flames just by walking near a heater, do you? Who are they making these things for? Considering I was risking the healing process to browse the clothing section, I was pretty bummed.
I went to a really good Sustainability/Service Learning symposium on Friday. I want to post about it. But right now I just want to be knocked out so I will no longer feel the need to cough or throat clear. My friend Nyquil and I are going to bed soon. I HAVE to go to school tomorrow. I took off Thursday and Friday for the training and symposium, so I can't leave my kids with another sub. It was hard enough to leave them for 2 days. Fingers crossed, I'll be healthier tomorrow.
Tonight, I sound mostly like this: *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *moan*
I'm finally draining, but it's resulting in lots of coughing and throat clearing and...well...I'd like to be done. I can stand the vice on my head. I can stand the plugged and popping ears. I can even stand the nose blowing even though my nose is so tender and sore now. I just can't stand the coughing and throat clearing. It hurts my throat and every time I cough, my head pounds. I'm pretty sure Josh is going to make me sleep on the porch tonight to allow for a quiet night's rest.
I ran a bunch of errands today, even though I should have stayed in bed. I rested all day yesterday and it drove me to near insanity. Also, there was much I needed to accomplish before work tomorrow. When I went to grab my photos and sharpies at Target, I also browsed the clothing. I am at a loss for what is going on with fashion these days. I hated everything I saw. It was either boring, ugly, or made of hihghly flammable material. I don't want to wear clothing that might set my body to flames just by walking near a heater, do you? Who are they making these things for? Considering I was risking the healing process to browse the clothing section, I was pretty bummed.
I went to a really good Sustainability/Service Learning symposium on Friday. I want to post about it. But right now I just want to be knocked out so I will no longer feel the need to cough or throat clear. My friend Nyquil and I are going to bed soon. I HAVE to go to school tomorrow. I took off Thursday and Friday for the training and symposium, so I can't leave my kids with another sub. It was hard enough to leave them for 2 days. Fingers crossed, I'll be healthier tomorrow.
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