Summer vacation officially started last Wednesday, but I have been working every day at school since. Boo. For the 3rd year in a row, I am having to move classrooms. Last year was because I changed schools, but the other two years is because I keep getting booted to a different room. It's so annoying. Yes, next year I will have a much bigger room, but that doesn't make up for all this extra (unpaid) work I'm doing to pack, clean, clean, unpack, lift, carry, haul, clean, arrange....and the list goes on. It's made worse this year because I am moving into the room of a woman who is retiring after 31 years. 31 years in the SAME ROOM. Can you believer it? There are so many pieces of CRAP in this room. And the filth!!! Oh my. The filth. Yech. So anyway. It's a lot of work. Tomorrow, I hope to be done for a while. At least until the floor in my new room gets waxed. Then I can go in and start to really arrange and place and organize. For now, all of the tables have to be stacked against the wall and all the shelves pushed into the corner. I can't even tell how/if the furniture is going to fit in there until the floors are done. Lame.
I started seeing a new therapist when I got back from Nova Scotia. She is actually an Art Therapist, which was something of a gamble for me. I'd never had Art Therapy before, but I've worked with Art therapists in my career in education and I have even taken some Art Therapy classes. As such, it wasn't weird to me. I just didn't know how I might benefit from it or if I would at all. Basically, at the start of every session, she has me do something that doesn't involve conversation. She once had me make a card for myself. Another time, she had me select a couple of trinkets from a box that spoke to me. The last time we met, she asked me to draw something that was related to my vision of this summer. She always offers a variety of media including pen and markers and oil pastels. We then talk about these things. It's pretty revealing. I like it so far. The rest of the time is either spent talking about what's most pressing or charting major moments on the timeline of my life. I don't enjoy that last one so much, even though it's one of the major reasons I started seeing a therapist again. I want to look at my history to see why I do what I do and what patterns I need to identify to stop getting the same results. I get so busy and I ignore so much in my life--relationships, emotions, stress. It's totally unhealthy and I am doing it on purpose. I need to figure out why. Drawing every week might not be the solution, but I'm willing to try.
I determined my vision for the summer is to shed things. I need to shed fears, insecurities, bad choices, unhealthy emotions, and physical weight. All of it is interconnected. I haven't done anything yet to start this process, but I am excited to admit that I'm going to a Pilates mat class again tomorrow for the first time in two years. I don't know why I've waited so long. I LOVE Pilates. I even aspired to get Pilates certified for a time. In preparation, I took a reformer class since then and didn't like it at all. I realized I needed to focus on mat. I just haven't gotten motivated to go to another mat class and tomorrow, I am finally changing that. Thanks to my twinstar, Angela. I brought it up to her at my birthday celebration and she agreed to join me. Even if she doesn't commit to going more than once in a blue moon, I plan to sign up for at least a month. If I truly love it, I'll find a way to fit the extra $100 a month into my budget. I need to feel better inside as well as better about my outside. STAT. Here's to taking the first step...
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Headaches
...I'm getting them a lot lately. Stress, I think. My head feels tight, in the front, near my temples. I think that's stress. Anyway, it's been a long time since I've gotten so many headaches repeatedly. Ibuprofen and I have developed a mighty close relationship. I thought about going to get a massage this weekend. I really should have. My week is going to be insanely busy: Meetings every night this week!!
I put in notice to move. Finally. I know. At least I'm moving forward and it's no longer a debate in my mind. Everything I dreaded about the experience is here now--the search, the packing, the moving, the mourning. I will really miss this house. It's a great house in a great location. I just can't afford it. This of course means that everything I can afford is cheaper, smaller, and uglier. Downgrading sucks. I'm not really willing to give up having my own washer and dryer, a dishwasher, a fireplace....but I know I can't have it all. Mmm. I am remaining optimistic. In 2 weeks, anxiety may hit. Be forewarned.
I put in notice to move. Finally. I know. At least I'm moving forward and it's no longer a debate in my mind. Everything I dreaded about the experience is here now--the search, the packing, the moving, the mourning. I will really miss this house. It's a great house in a great location. I just can't afford it. This of course means that everything I can afford is cheaper, smaller, and uglier. Downgrading sucks. I'm not really willing to give up having my own washer and dryer, a dishwasher, a fireplace....but I know I can't have it all. Mmm. I am remaining optimistic. In 2 weeks, anxiety may hit. Be forewarned.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Life is too short
...to not wear pretty dresses. Y wrote that on her blog the other day and I thought, "That should have been my New Year's resolution!" It relates to more than just appearance and health. For me, it's about doing the things I really want to do, even if I don't think I have the money. It's about making the right choices for how I choose to spend my time and valuing the things and people I love. It's about being the best me that can be. Life is too short to not wear pretty dresses. Yes, it means all of that and more.
I am really fortunate to have had all of last week off. I crafted, I did my taxes, I paid some bills. Most importantly, I rested. I slept a TON. I still feel exhausted, but the point is that I took care of myself and I often forget to do that. I began acupuncture treatment the week before last for my hormonal imbalance and my (seemingly chronic) fatigue. I can't say it's helped, but I'm willing to go through all 11 treatments (at a cost of $220 out of pocket) to see if it has any effect. I went to the doctor's again to have bloodwork done and see if I could blame my exhaustion on anemia or poor kidney function. No dice. It's frustrating to get "a clean bill of health" when you can FEEL that that isn't the case.
In other, better news....I'm planning some adventures and renewing my commitment to running. As soon as I get myself back "in the running", I'm going to sign up for a 5K to really inspire me to keep it up. On the adventure end, coming up: My expedition to Nova Scotia in April, Whitewater Rafting the Klickitat (also in April), Ziplining in Whistler in June, Nicaragua or Morocco in July, and NYC in August. Todd and I are aspiring to go on an expedition to Costa Rica in the fall and I will be spending Christmas in either Germany or Brazil, depending on where the family is going to be, so that's something I can also look forward to. I'd love to fit Vegas and Arizona in in March, but it's difficult to see that happening. There isn't much time to make that happen financially. I'm okay with that, though. I obviously have plenty of other reasons to "wear pretty dresses" throughout the year!
I am really fortunate to have had all of last week off. I crafted, I did my taxes, I paid some bills. Most importantly, I rested. I slept a TON. I still feel exhausted, but the point is that I took care of myself and I often forget to do that. I began acupuncture treatment the week before last for my hormonal imbalance and my (seemingly chronic) fatigue. I can't say it's helped, but I'm willing to go through all 11 treatments (at a cost of $220 out of pocket) to see if it has any effect. I went to the doctor's again to have bloodwork done and see if I could blame my exhaustion on anemia or poor kidney function. No dice. It's frustrating to get "a clean bill of health" when you can FEEL that that isn't the case.
In other, better news....I'm planning some adventures and renewing my commitment to running. As soon as I get myself back "in the running", I'm going to sign up for a 5K to really inspire me to keep it up. On the adventure end, coming up: My expedition to Nova Scotia in April, Whitewater Rafting the Klickitat (also in April), Ziplining in Whistler in June, Nicaragua or Morocco in July, and NYC in August. Todd and I are aspiring to go on an expedition to Costa Rica in the fall and I will be spending Christmas in either Germany or Brazil, depending on where the family is going to be, so that's something I can also look forward to. I'd love to fit Vegas and Arizona in in March, but it's difficult to see that happening. There isn't much time to make that happen financially. I'm okay with that, though. I obviously have plenty of other reasons to "wear pretty dresses" throughout the year!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sicko
The last couple of days, I have sounded like this: *sniff* *sniff* *blow* *cough* *blow* *cough* (and repeat)
Tonight, I sound mostly like this: *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *moan*
I'm finally draining, but it's resulting in lots of coughing and throat clearing and...well...I'd like to be done. I can stand the vice on my head. I can stand the plugged and popping ears. I can even stand the nose blowing even though my nose is so tender and sore now. I just can't stand the coughing and throat clearing. It hurts my throat and every time I cough, my head pounds. I'm pretty sure Josh is going to make me sleep on the porch tonight to allow for a quiet night's rest.
I ran a bunch of errands today, even though I should have stayed in bed. I rested all day yesterday and it drove me to near insanity. Also, there was much I needed to accomplish before work tomorrow. When I went to grab my photos and sharpies at Target, I also browsed the clothing. I am at a loss for what is going on with fashion these days. I hated everything I saw. It was either boring, ugly, or made of hihghly flammable material. I don't want to wear clothing that might set my body to flames just by walking near a heater, do you? Who are they making these things for? Considering I was risking the healing process to browse the clothing section, I was pretty bummed.
I went to a really good Sustainability/Service Learning symposium on Friday. I want to post about it. But right now I just want to be knocked out so I will no longer feel the need to cough or throat clear. My friend Nyquil and I are going to bed soon. I HAVE to go to school tomorrow. I took off Thursday and Friday for the training and symposium, so I can't leave my kids with another sub. It was hard enough to leave them for 2 days. Fingers crossed, I'll be healthier tomorrow.
Tonight, I sound mostly like this: *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *clear throat* *cough* *moan*
I'm finally draining, but it's resulting in lots of coughing and throat clearing and...well...I'd like to be done. I can stand the vice on my head. I can stand the plugged and popping ears. I can even stand the nose blowing even though my nose is so tender and sore now. I just can't stand the coughing and throat clearing. It hurts my throat and every time I cough, my head pounds. I'm pretty sure Josh is going to make me sleep on the porch tonight to allow for a quiet night's rest.
I ran a bunch of errands today, even though I should have stayed in bed. I rested all day yesterday and it drove me to near insanity. Also, there was much I needed to accomplish before work tomorrow. When I went to grab my photos and sharpies at Target, I also browsed the clothing. I am at a loss for what is going on with fashion these days. I hated everything I saw. It was either boring, ugly, or made of hihghly flammable material. I don't want to wear clothing that might set my body to flames just by walking near a heater, do you? Who are they making these things for? Considering I was risking the healing process to browse the clothing section, I was pretty bummed.
I went to a really good Sustainability/Service Learning symposium on Friday. I want to post about it. But right now I just want to be knocked out so I will no longer feel the need to cough or throat clear. My friend Nyquil and I are going to bed soon. I HAVE to go to school tomorrow. I took off Thursday and Friday for the training and symposium, so I can't leave my kids with another sub. It was hard enough to leave them for 2 days. Fingers crossed, I'll be healthier tomorrow.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
counting sheep in broad daylight
There is an exhaustion within me currently that is so deep within my muscles and my mind. I can't explain it any better than that. I don't understand it, but all I want to do right now is lay very still and allow myself to drift off into a deep sleep.
But I can't.
It's Sunday and that means it's necessary to prepare for the upcoming week by completing housework, running errands, and paying bills. Yuck.
I am even more limited on time to complete these tasks today because we have a very special evening planned. We are going on a hot air balloon ride! This is something we have been planning to do for nearly 2 years and we've simply been too busy to put the plans into place. Finally, finally we are going and it's a beautiful day for it. I kind of got into an argument with the pilot this morning, though, so we are a bit worried that this could affect our good time. I might be wrong, and I hope I am. He was charging us more money than we should have been charged and Josh only admitted the charge to me this morning. He said the Pilot told him it was necessary for the time slot they had available, but according to their website, the price should not change based on the time slot. He was very surprised that I was calling him on it and insisted it was agreed upon when the appointment was made. Thing is, Josh didn't know the details on the website, so he couldn't argue it. He said, if I wanted to cancel, I would have had to call on Friday to do so. Josh only just told me about it today, so that wasn't possible. We agreed to "split the difference", which in this guy's lingo meant requiring us to still pay more than we should, but less than he told Josh. There is little I can do about it all because the guy has Josh's CC number. If I cancel, he'll charge the full amount. So we're going. But Josh and I are both kind of in a poor mood about it, which sucks. I'm sure the Pilot is in a crap mood too and will likely be awkward with us on the flight but I am determined to have a good time and THEN write a bad review online and call the BBB. Because seriously, no one should be paying over $400 for something and be in a bad mood for the whole experience. It just isn't right.
Tomorrow, our bowling league starts. I am looking forward to being silly with girlfriends. I had hoped to get my own ball, but I realize that would be yet another thing I would need to donate to goodwill in time. I am not and never will be a real bowler.
Tuesday, I start hot yoga class and ...don't tell the masculine club of America, but... Josh will be going with me! I convinced him to give it a try. His work is so physical and he has pains and aches in his back, leg and hip pretty frequently. Owning and running a business is a stressful endeavor, too. Yoga--hot yoga, especially--will be a great opportunity for him to feel some physical and emotional relief. I made him promise to do 10 classes. We'll see if he commits!
But I can't.
It's Sunday and that means it's necessary to prepare for the upcoming week by completing housework, running errands, and paying bills. Yuck.
I am even more limited on time to complete these tasks today because we have a very special evening planned. We are going on a hot air balloon ride! This is something we have been planning to do for nearly 2 years and we've simply been too busy to put the plans into place. Finally, finally we are going and it's a beautiful day for it. I kind of got into an argument with the pilot this morning, though, so we are a bit worried that this could affect our good time. I might be wrong, and I hope I am. He was charging us more money than we should have been charged and Josh only admitted the charge to me this morning. He said the Pilot told him it was necessary for the time slot they had available, but according to their website, the price should not change based on the time slot. He was very surprised that I was calling him on it and insisted it was agreed upon when the appointment was made. Thing is, Josh didn't know the details on the website, so he couldn't argue it. He said, if I wanted to cancel, I would have had to call on Friday to do so. Josh only just told me about it today, so that wasn't possible. We agreed to "split the difference", which in this guy's lingo meant requiring us to still pay more than we should, but less than he told Josh. There is little I can do about it all because the guy has Josh's CC number. If I cancel, he'll charge the full amount. So we're going. But Josh and I are both kind of in a poor mood about it, which sucks. I'm sure the Pilot is in a crap mood too and will likely be awkward with us on the flight but I am determined to have a good time and THEN write a bad review online and call the BBB. Because seriously, no one should be paying over $400 for something and be in a bad mood for the whole experience. It just isn't right.
Tomorrow, our bowling league starts. I am looking forward to being silly with girlfriends. I had hoped to get my own ball, but I realize that would be yet another thing I would need to donate to goodwill in time. I am not and never will be a real bowler.
Tuesday, I start hot yoga class and ...don't tell the masculine club of America, but... Josh will be going with me! I convinced him to give it a try. His work is so physical and he has pains and aches in his back, leg and hip pretty frequently. Owning and running a business is a stressful endeavor, too. Yoga--hot yoga, especially--will be a great opportunity for him to feel some physical and emotional relief. I made him promise to do 10 classes. We'll see if he commits!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
circle
I really don't understand this. Just before we left for Hawaii, I was confirmed un-pregnant and given estrogen pills by my doctor for the next 3 months. She said I was at risk of cervical cancer due to my PCOS and these pills would help prevent that from happening. Additionally, she said I would not be getting my period while on them. After bleeding for 6 weeks straight, that was music to my ears! Well, guess what? I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding heavily. And it hurts! Damn Damn Damn. I am so upset about this! I basically go back to work full time again starting Monday and I just can't fathom dealing with any more health issues on top of that. I am so sad again. I just want to be okay. Why am I not okay??? All of these things are rushing through my mind: Is this something I should be alarmed about? Am I going to have to have a hysterectomy? Am I never going to be able to have a baby? And then it just hit me that I'm old. I mean, I'm really OLD. Maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but in the baby-making, get your life straightened out, figure out what you want in life sense I certainly am. Yes, biological-clock speaking, I am old. I never would have predicted I would be living as flittingly, free-willingly as I do now at this age. I could just smack myself thinking how un-seriously I'm taking my life at this age. I'm supposed to be tied down, dammit! Okay, now I'm laughing at myself. God, I really am a mess.
I had a dream last night about my high school best friend, a male, whom I haven't seen since '97 maybe. He and I messed around in high school, but we were steadfast friends and that's what made our relationship so strong. Well, last night I had a sex dream about him. I've never done that before and it was really intense. In the photos I've seen of him on Facebook, he looks entirely different now and of course I dreamt him as he looked back then. I remember feeling like I'd been waiting for this forever. I was filled with anticipation. Then, when I woke up in the dream, I realized I didn't remember any of it. He was still there with me in bed, but I guess we'd been drinking too much the night before so I couldn't remember how it was. I was so disappointed! When I awoke in real life, Josh was cuddling me close and playing with my hair. I felt so guilty but I also felt like I didn't want him to be touching me. I wanted to go back to my dream. Hm. I don't know what it all means, but I did send my friend an email. It was one sentence. It said, I had an emotion-filled dream about you last night. I made the subject "angelfish" because in my dream he had an angelfish tattoo on his back. Which is funny. The last time we were in LA, I almost met up with him and I was curious if there would be anything "there" when I saw him. I was nervous about the meetup and certainly knew I would need to see him alone. Well, he ended up never calling me to make the actual date, so I never did see him. We never talked about it, though we have Facebook messaged since then. I suppose I was concerned we might have been thinking the same thing and I felt dishonest towards Josh about it. When I awoke from my dream, however, I crazily thought I ought to make sure I see him, and soon, to make sure I'm not "supposed" to be with him. I have since woken up more and think it's ludicrous, but I guess if I'm writing about all of this I do still have an inkling of curiosity in the back of my mind. This too shall pass, I'm sure.
I had a dream last night about my high school best friend, a male, whom I haven't seen since '97 maybe. He and I messed around in high school, but we were steadfast friends and that's what made our relationship so strong. Well, last night I had a sex dream about him. I've never done that before and it was really intense. In the photos I've seen of him on Facebook, he looks entirely different now and of course I dreamt him as he looked back then. I remember feeling like I'd been waiting for this forever. I was filled with anticipation. Then, when I woke up in the dream, I realized I didn't remember any of it. He was still there with me in bed, but I guess we'd been drinking too much the night before so I couldn't remember how it was. I was so disappointed! When I awoke in real life, Josh was cuddling me close and playing with my hair. I felt so guilty but I also felt like I didn't want him to be touching me. I wanted to go back to my dream. Hm. I don't know what it all means, but I did send my friend an email. It was one sentence. It said, I had an emotion-filled dream about you last night. I made the subject "angelfish" because in my dream he had an angelfish tattoo on his back. Which is funny. The last time we were in LA, I almost met up with him and I was curious if there would be anything "there" when I saw him. I was nervous about the meetup and certainly knew I would need to see him alone. Well, he ended up never calling me to make the actual date, so I never did see him. We never talked about it, though we have Facebook messaged since then. I suppose I was concerned we might have been thinking the same thing and I felt dishonest towards Josh about it. When I awoke from my dream, however, I crazily thought I ought to make sure I see him, and soon, to make sure I'm not "supposed" to be with him. I have since woken up more and think it's ludicrous, but I guess if I'm writing about all of this I do still have an inkling of curiosity in the back of my mind. This too shall pass, I'm sure.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
From Uch to Uch
I wish I could be happy with being fat. Uch.
I went clothes shopping with Ang after getting pedicures and eating yummy Thai for dinner. Maybe it was the Thai, or all the dinners I've eaten this summer, but I appear to have gained beyond my knowledge! I could not rock clothes I have rocked in the past.
Too bad we're going to be in a place where I will be mostly unclothed for the majority of the time. I am going to enjoy myself no matter what, but I do wish I had less of the tummy and backfat and arm fat that I do. I am officially unpregnant now, according to the blood test I did today, and I'm feeling much better, so I guess it's time to get in gear and try to look more how I feel. Need to get disciplined!
The doctor wanted me to get on BCP again, but I refused. No more pills! She convinced me to accept a scrip for progesterone instead, but I am conflicted. I'm supposed to take it for the fact that my PCOS makes me more susceptible to endometrial cancer and putting this hormone into my system that I lack would make me less susceptible. That makes sense. BUT, I initially entered into my PCOS treatment with a Naturopath because I wanted to get my body to a point where I could naturally produce the hormone and lessen my testosterone levels. If I take this progesterone, I can't continue that therapy/process. What to do...what to do...
She is thinking we'll try to get me in a place to try to conceive come November (ie force ovulation), but I don't know if I want that. I will probably aim to wait longer than that. I know my clock is ticking and running low on battery life, but I am not married to Josh and I need to know we want to be married. Having a child with someone is more permanent a life venture than marriage and I know there is a reason marriage is the horse and babies are the cart!
Speaking of Josh, he quit the fire department. Again. He says it's final. I just don't know with him, though. Talk about a man who doesn't know what he wants! Uch.
I went clothes shopping with Ang after getting pedicures and eating yummy Thai for dinner. Maybe it was the Thai, or all the dinners I've eaten this summer, but I appear to have gained beyond my knowledge! I could not rock clothes I have rocked in the past.
Too bad we're going to be in a place where I will be mostly unclothed for the majority of the time. I am going to enjoy myself no matter what, but I do wish I had less of the tummy and backfat and arm fat that I do. I am officially unpregnant now, according to the blood test I did today, and I'm feeling much better, so I guess it's time to get in gear and try to look more how I feel. Need to get disciplined!
The doctor wanted me to get on BCP again, but I refused. No more pills! She convinced me to accept a scrip for progesterone instead, but I am conflicted. I'm supposed to take it for the fact that my PCOS makes me more susceptible to endometrial cancer and putting this hormone into my system that I lack would make me less susceptible. That makes sense. BUT, I initially entered into my PCOS treatment with a Naturopath because I wanted to get my body to a point where I could naturally produce the hormone and lessen my testosterone levels. If I take this progesterone, I can't continue that therapy/process. What to do...what to do...
She is thinking we'll try to get me in a place to try to conceive come November (ie force ovulation), but I don't know if I want that. I will probably aim to wait longer than that. I know my clock is ticking and running low on battery life, but I am not married to Josh and I need to know we want to be married. Having a child with someone is more permanent a life venture than marriage and I know there is a reason marriage is the horse and babies are the cart!
Speaking of Josh, he quit the fire department. Again. He says it's final. I just don't know with him, though. Talk about a man who doesn't know what he wants! Uch.
Vroom Vroom
I awoke about an hour ago to itchy legs and arms and throbbing knees. The itchiness and the throbbing are unrelated but equally as annoying, so I finally got out of bed after lying there scratching and wincing every time I rolled over to try to fall back asleep. I'm not really sure why I'm itching so much. I put anti-itch cream on when I got up. Sometimes, it's because of Lulu. Other times, it's a mystery. Not sure what to blame it on right now. Just wish it would go away.
My knees throbbing are thanks to my efforts to help Josh yesterday. I brought him lunch at this beautiful house he was working at and somehow got roped into cleaning out gutters. They were drain gutters located around the pool, so I had to bend over and kneel like you might do if you were gardening. I did this for 4 hours, which is a major no-no for me. I have always had extra fluid or something joint-related in my knees that prevents me from kneeling for long periods of time. It's a horrible thing to be afflicted with as a Kindergarten teacher because I'm naturally doing a lot of that when I'm helping students at their desks or even talking to them at eye level. It even affects me when riding a bike for long periods of time. I was doing enough up-down that I thought I'd be okay with the work I did for Josh, but apparently I was very, very wrong. I think my joints are swollen and I feel very old. I hope it doesn't incapacitate me today! I have a lot to get done. Only 2 more business days til we leave and I have errands to run and need to be mobile!
I have another doctor's appointment today. My routine of going to the hospital to get blood drawn first will hopefully end after today. Fingers crossed, they will say I am no longer pregnant. That will mark the end of the weekly doctor's visits!
This week has mostly been centered around buying a car. Monday night, we spent hours at the dealership negotiating. I hate that part. We left Monday night with a car, but not a firm rate on our loan. Because the banks were closed, we had to wait til the next day to find out what we'd be offered. All day Tuesday, Josh kept saying he didn't like the car because it smelled. I agreed that it had an odd odor in it, but it was a really nice car and I thought we could just Febreeze it. A smell isn't a reason I would ditch a car. It was clear, though, that he didn't love it and when it came down to it the payments were just too much for us to be committing to it if we didn't love it. So I took it back yesterday. They kept trying to convince me to keep it, of course, and eventually began offering me other cars to look at, but I needed a break. They agreed on a time out but insisted they would "keep looking" for what we wanted. I got my car back and drove home. It wasn't until the evening that I realized they still had my registration, so I will have to go back today. I'm irritated about this because the dealership is not at all close by.
They were offering us so little on our trade-in that I decided to try my hand at selling it myself on Craigslist last evening. I have already gotten 3 interested emails, listing it for 4 times what the dealership offered us, so I would say private sale is a good way to go. Josh thinks this is the wrong time to be doing all of this since we're leaving for Hawaii on Sunday, and he's probably right. I just have a hard time not starting projects as soon as they enter my brain. Which reminds me: I need to go look for the car title. Then maybe I'll try bed again....
My knees throbbing are thanks to my efforts to help Josh yesterday. I brought him lunch at this beautiful house he was working at and somehow got roped into cleaning out gutters. They were drain gutters located around the pool, so I had to bend over and kneel like you might do if you were gardening. I did this for 4 hours, which is a major no-no for me. I have always had extra fluid or something joint-related in my knees that prevents me from kneeling for long periods of time. It's a horrible thing to be afflicted with as a Kindergarten teacher because I'm naturally doing a lot of that when I'm helping students at their desks or even talking to them at eye level. It even affects me when riding a bike for long periods of time. I was doing enough up-down that I thought I'd be okay with the work I did for Josh, but apparently I was very, very wrong. I think my joints are swollen and I feel very old. I hope it doesn't incapacitate me today! I have a lot to get done. Only 2 more business days til we leave and I have errands to run and need to be mobile!
I have another doctor's appointment today. My routine of going to the hospital to get blood drawn first will hopefully end after today. Fingers crossed, they will say I am no longer pregnant. That will mark the end of the weekly doctor's visits!
This week has mostly been centered around buying a car. Monday night, we spent hours at the dealership negotiating. I hate that part. We left Monday night with a car, but not a firm rate on our loan. Because the banks were closed, we had to wait til the next day to find out what we'd be offered. All day Tuesday, Josh kept saying he didn't like the car because it smelled. I agreed that it had an odd odor in it, but it was a really nice car and I thought we could just Febreeze it. A smell isn't a reason I would ditch a car. It was clear, though, that he didn't love it and when it came down to it the payments were just too much for us to be committing to it if we didn't love it. So I took it back yesterday. They kept trying to convince me to keep it, of course, and eventually began offering me other cars to look at, but I needed a break. They agreed on a time out but insisted they would "keep looking" for what we wanted. I got my car back and drove home. It wasn't until the evening that I realized they still had my registration, so I will have to go back today. I'm irritated about this because the dealership is not at all close by.
They were offering us so little on our trade-in that I decided to try my hand at selling it myself on Craigslist last evening. I have already gotten 3 interested emails, listing it for 4 times what the dealership offered us, so I would say private sale is a good way to go. Josh thinks this is the wrong time to be doing all of this since we're leaving for Hawaii on Sunday, and he's probably right. I just have a hard time not starting projects as soon as they enter my brain. Which reminds me: I need to go look for the car title. Then maybe I'll try bed again....
Monday, July 20, 2009
Update
Just emailed this to mom and some friends:
Just to keep you abreast: My doctor urged me to go in for another ultrasound today, based on the amount of pain I was dealing with this past weekend. After the ultrasound, which was inconclusive, I was urged to go to the ER. So, Josh and I spent 5 hours there tonight with me hooked up to IV's and monitors. Turns out, I am miscarrying the fetus as was hoped post-chemo and likely will not have to undergo surgery or further chemotherapy. In other words, everything is happening as planned.
Just a bit of a scare that I would have to undergo emergency surgery. But, it looks like I can just deal with this at home. Will have to go back on Thursday to get blood levels checked again to confirm that this is actually the case, but I feel that it will be.
I am feeling tons better since the weekend, and even got my appetite back during the ER visit. Had my first meal in days at Kabul, the Afghani restaurant in Wallingford. I ate light, but it's promising that I'm eating again. Doctor predicts I'll stop bleeding in a matter of weeks. (I'm hoping for sooner).
Just to keep you abreast: My doctor urged me to go in for another ultrasound today, based on the amount of pain I was dealing with this past weekend. After the ultrasound, which was inconclusive, I was urged to go to the ER. So, Josh and I spent 5 hours there tonight with me hooked up to IV's and monitors. Turns out, I am miscarrying the fetus as was hoped post-chemo and likely will not have to undergo surgery or further chemotherapy. In other words, everything is happening as planned.
Just a bit of a scare that I would have to undergo emergency surgery. But, it looks like I can just deal with this at home. Will have to go back on Thursday to get blood levels checked again to confirm that this is actually the case, but I feel that it will be.
I am feeling tons better since the weekend, and even got my appetite back during the ER visit. Had my first meal in days at Kabul, the Afghani restaurant in Wallingford. I ate light, but it's promising that I'm eating again. Doctor predicts I'll stop bleeding in a matter of weeks. (I'm hoping for sooner).
Hunger Pangs
I have not been able to eat much of anything this weekend due to an inhumane amount of pain. I called the on-call resident to ask him to call me in a scrip for some pain meds, but he wanted me to come in to the ER first. Uh, no thanks, I'll wait til my doctor is in tomorrow and pay tons less to get "checked out". I just want drugs.
Then I remembered that I have an old bottle of codeine from 5 years ago (at least). I read once that medicine doesn't really go "bad" after the expiration date, it just loses its potency to some degree. So I took it. And now? I am STARVING. I don't feel 100% pain-free, but I feel way better than I did. And I don't want what we have in the kitchen. I want Indian food. Or Mediterranean Kitchen. (With you, Erika!) But it's midnight, so I guess I won't be giving in to these cravings. By tomorrow, when it's possible to, I won't likely be hungry again. I'll be in pain again. Hrm.
Thank you to all of you for your kind words via comment and email. I didn't realize all of you were reading! Sneaky... I haven't been awake long enough to respond to everyone, yet, but I will.
This has been so hard for me. It's been hard for Josh, too. But right now I just need to focus on feeling better. I am supposed to go camping next weekend, celebrate 2 friends' birthdays at a cabin the following weekend, and leave for Hawaii the weekend after that. Not to mention how LONG I've been feeling this way and it's supposed to be my vacation! Before you know it, I'll be back to school and won't have any time to myself. I am angry that I've been missing out on life, let alone vacation time, for this long. I am tired of hurting and bleeding and I long to be myself again. SOON. It's starting to feel like an impossibility.
Then I remembered that I have an old bottle of codeine from 5 years ago (at least). I read once that medicine doesn't really go "bad" after the expiration date, it just loses its potency to some degree. So I took it. And now? I am STARVING. I don't feel 100% pain-free, but I feel way better than I did. And I don't want what we have in the kitchen. I want Indian food. Or Mediterranean Kitchen. (With you, Erika!) But it's midnight, so I guess I won't be giving in to these cravings. By tomorrow, when it's possible to, I won't likely be hungry again. I'll be in pain again. Hrm.
Thank you to all of you for your kind words via comment and email. I didn't realize all of you were reading! Sneaky... I haven't been awake long enough to respond to everyone, yet, but I will.
This has been so hard for me. It's been hard for Josh, too. But right now I just need to focus on feeling better. I am supposed to go camping next weekend, celebrate 2 friends' birthdays at a cabin the following weekend, and leave for Hawaii the weekend after that. Not to mention how LONG I've been feeling this way and it's supposed to be my vacation! Before you know it, I'll be back to school and won't have any time to myself. I am angry that I've been missing out on life, let alone vacation time, for this long. I am tired of hurting and bleeding and I long to be myself again. SOON. It's starting to feel like an impossibility.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Results, Step 1
I saw the specialist yesterday. What was scheduled to be a 50 minute appointment turned into a 6 hour series of events I don't think I'll ever forget. For the sake of documenting it for myself, I'm going to type it all out below. But the nuts and bolts of the story are that I'm pregnant. The fetus is likely not in my uterus, though, but rather in my fallopian tube. I also may be miscarrying it. That would explain the pain and the bleeding. I have to wait til Friday to be sure, though. I'll get tested again at that point. I am such a mixed bag of emotions right now. I went from shock to happiness to sadness to anger within minutes, it seems. I'm happy that I can get pregnant because I really didn't think I could. Naturally, I'm devastated that I am carrying a baby in the wrong place and am either miscarrying or will have to abort it. I am scared that the only 2 options for aborting it are with chemotherapy or surgery. I am angry that this is "happening to me." On Friday, I will know more. Until then, things are pretty glum in our house. Josh is really sad about it, but he is being incredibly nurturing and supportive.
Here's the play by play...
At the appointment, which I was late for because I unwittingly wrote the time down wrong, she could only talk to me for 10 minutes before her next patient. I gave her the gist of what's been going on and she said that I was likely bleeding so long due to being ammenhoreac, which just means that I don't get my period very often. She said she would prescribe me some Provera to stop the bleeding and then schedule me for an ultrasound for 2 weeks from now to see what the deal with the pain was.
She then asked me to pee in a cup for a standard pregnancy test that they do at that office. I thought it was dumb to do since I had obviously been having my period for a month. But then, just before she was supposed to give me the scrip and I was to leave, she came in and said, "Never mind what I said before. We have a different scenario on hand. You're pregnant." I about fell off the table when she said that! I got very teary and said, "This can't be good. I've been bleeding for a month!" She did a quick pelvic exam and said it looks good because I'm not exhibiting signs of internal bleeding. I didn't know what she meant by that til later.
Then I had to go to the hospital for an emergency blood draw and ultrasound. The Radiologist couldn't see a fetus in my uterus, which basically meant my pregnancy was probably ectopic, which means it's in my fallopian tube and thus needed to be aborted. She (Radiologist) wanted me to go right to the ER for surgery, but she called my gynecologist first who just asked that I come back to her office instead.
So I did, and she told me then that there are 1 of 3 scenarios going on: 1. I have an ectopic pregnancy that needs to be removed by surgery or chemotherapy, 2. I have an ectopic pregnancy that is miscarrying (explaining the blood) or 3. I have a healthy pregnancy that is too early to be identified on an ultrasound and is possibly going to be okay but is just having a rough start (ie the pain and bleeding). The third scenario is the least likely.
By this time, I had called Josh and he joined us and got up to speed. We agonizingly waited for the blood results to help us determine the case. If my hormone levels were high, it would indicate a developed pregnancy in the wrong place (the tube), and we would need to operate or do the chemo before it could burst my tube and I developed internal bleeding (which is what she was checking for in my pelvic exam). If my hormone levels were low, it indicated an underdeveloped pregnancy that could be in my tube or my uterus, requiring us to wait 2 days and test the levels again to be more certain.
When my levels came back, they were low, so I would have to wait 2 days to get them checked again. On Friday, if those levels have doubled, I am likely having a normal pregnancy. If those levels have dropped, I am likely having a miscarriage. If those levels are only slightly elevated, I likely have an ectopic pregnancy in my fallopian tube that will need to be aborted.
I feel strongly that I have an ectopic pregnancy. Friday will help me determine whether or not I have to go through chemo. I don't want to do surgery because there is always a risk involved. Chemo will be hard--I will be in a lot of pain for at least 72 hours after getting the shot of chemo, with likely nausea. There is also still a chance my tube could burst despite or during that time. So I will have to be closely monitored.
What I did get was a shot of Rogan because I am O negative, so if the fetus in me is a positive bloodtype, I could reject it or any future positive bloodtype fetus. That shot was pretty painless.
I have shed a lot of tears. Josh wants me to be pregnant in a healthy way, but I don't feel in my heart that is the case. Regardless, I am looking at a lot more time of "not feeling normal".
Here's the play by play...
At the appointment, which I was late for because I unwittingly wrote the time down wrong, she could only talk to me for 10 minutes before her next patient. I gave her the gist of what's been going on and she said that I was likely bleeding so long due to being ammenhoreac, which just means that I don't get my period very often. She said she would prescribe me some Provera to stop the bleeding and then schedule me for an ultrasound for 2 weeks from now to see what the deal with the pain was.
She then asked me to pee in a cup for a standard pregnancy test that they do at that office. I thought it was dumb to do since I had obviously been having my period for a month. But then, just before she was supposed to give me the scrip and I was to leave, she came in and said, "Never mind what I said before. We have a different scenario on hand. You're pregnant." I about fell off the table when she said that! I got very teary and said, "This can't be good. I've been bleeding for a month!" She did a quick pelvic exam and said it looks good because I'm not exhibiting signs of internal bleeding. I didn't know what she meant by that til later.
Then I had to go to the hospital for an emergency blood draw and ultrasound. The Radiologist couldn't see a fetus in my uterus, which basically meant my pregnancy was probably ectopic, which means it's in my fallopian tube and thus needed to be aborted. She (Radiologist) wanted me to go right to the ER for surgery, but she called my gynecologist first who just asked that I come back to her office instead.
So I did, and she told me then that there are 1 of 3 scenarios going on: 1. I have an ectopic pregnancy that needs to be removed by surgery or chemotherapy, 2. I have an ectopic pregnancy that is miscarrying (explaining the blood) or 3. I have a healthy pregnancy that is too early to be identified on an ultrasound and is possibly going to be okay but is just having a rough start (ie the pain and bleeding). The third scenario is the least likely.
By this time, I had called Josh and he joined us and got up to speed. We agonizingly waited for the blood results to help us determine the case. If my hormone levels were high, it would indicate a developed pregnancy in the wrong place (the tube), and we would need to operate or do the chemo before it could burst my tube and I developed internal bleeding (which is what she was checking for in my pelvic exam). If my hormone levels were low, it indicated an underdeveloped pregnancy that could be in my tube or my uterus, requiring us to wait 2 days and test the levels again to be more certain.
When my levels came back, they were low, so I would have to wait 2 days to get them checked again. On Friday, if those levels have doubled, I am likely having a normal pregnancy. If those levels have dropped, I am likely having a miscarriage. If those levels are only slightly elevated, I likely have an ectopic pregnancy in my fallopian tube that will need to be aborted.
I feel strongly that I have an ectopic pregnancy. Friday will help me determine whether or not I have to go through chemo. I don't want to do surgery because there is always a risk involved. Chemo will be hard--I will be in a lot of pain for at least 72 hours after getting the shot of chemo, with likely nausea. There is also still a chance my tube could burst despite or during that time. So I will have to be closely monitored.
What I did get was a shot of Rogan because I am O negative, so if the fetus in me is a positive bloodtype, I could reject it or any future positive bloodtype fetus. That shot was pretty painless.
I have shed a lot of tears. Josh wants me to be pregnant in a healthy way, but I don't feel in my heart that is the case. Regardless, I am looking at a lot more time of "not feeling normal".
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Aloha
Remember how I said Josh and I were going to Brazil this summer? I was wrong. Josh did not get his butt in gear and get his visa in time. :( It was also really anxiety-inducing for him because of how much the plane ticket and visa were going to be. So, we changed our plans and put Brazil on hold.
We're going to Hawaii instead! We'll be there from Aug.9-14. Not super long, but I'm really looking forward to the break. And Josh has never been, so it will be fun to see him light up at all the beauty. I am feverishly looking for lodging in Kailua, which is away from the hubub of Waikiki. There are no hotels in Kailua, so we have to either stay at a B&B, which is like staying in some stranger's house (always tiring) or in someone's guest house (which is nearly the same, but not). I naturally want the guest house option, but many of those have already been spoken for. Seems like the ones that haven't are a teensy bit out of our price range..... Well, it will all work out in the end.
I can't wait to get my medical concerns worked out so I can actually get excited about this trip! As of now, I feel like I might never stop bleeding and never be able to walk or run or bend pain-free. Last night I cried in Josh's arms about it. I didn't mean to. He was holding me and I was talking to him about how I am so tired of feeling this way and in the midst of my words, I was surprised to be interrupted with forceful sobs. He was concerned and held me tight. He asked me what I was feeling and I told him I was just so miserable being like this and how I don't want him to think of me as such a weak, pathetic person. He assured me that he doesn't think that at all. He just wants for me the same thing as I do. He wants me to not be in pain or be so affected in this way. It felt so good to cry in his arms. I have been holding a lot of this inside of me. I have never, ever been good at resting. I am a very active person and sitting around makes me feel shamefully lazy. But for the last month, I have been doing a lot of just sitting around and sleeping in. And I feel horrible about myself as a result. I have not accomplished much of anything, though I've been trying to "live life as usual". When you feel like your insides are separating, tearing, getting stabbed on a continual basis...well, you don't feel like life is "usual" so living it as such is difficult.
I finally made an appointment with another doctor, since mine seems to be just waiting out my pain. I made an appointment with a specialist who is a gynecologist dealing with "problem issues". When I called and the receptionist told me this, she said, "The Dr. won't see you for just any issue. She can only accept new patients for extreme problems." I said, "I have Ammenorhea and I have been bleeding for nearly a month with extreme pain and possible cyst ruptures." She said, "Allright, can you come in tomorrow?" Haha. I guess I qualify! I'm glad she'll be able to get me in so soon. I'll be going in at 1:30. I am hopeful she can just tell me how I can stop hurting and feeling so tired. Even if she can't stop the bleeding (though that's likely why I'm so tired). I can handle that part, though I should have stock in O.B. at this rate. Then, of course, I hope she can help fix everything else. But first, the pain.
We're going to Hawaii instead! We'll be there from Aug.9-14. Not super long, but I'm really looking forward to the break. And Josh has never been, so it will be fun to see him light up at all the beauty. I am feverishly looking for lodging in Kailua, which is away from the hubub of Waikiki. There are no hotels in Kailua, so we have to either stay at a B&B, which is like staying in some stranger's house (always tiring) or in someone's guest house (which is nearly the same, but not). I naturally want the guest house option, but many of those have already been spoken for. Seems like the ones that haven't are a teensy bit out of our price range..... Well, it will all work out in the end.
I can't wait to get my medical concerns worked out so I can actually get excited about this trip! As of now, I feel like I might never stop bleeding and never be able to walk or run or bend pain-free. Last night I cried in Josh's arms about it. I didn't mean to. He was holding me and I was talking to him about how I am so tired of feeling this way and in the midst of my words, I was surprised to be interrupted with forceful sobs. He was concerned and held me tight. He asked me what I was feeling and I told him I was just so miserable being like this and how I don't want him to think of me as such a weak, pathetic person. He assured me that he doesn't think that at all. He just wants for me the same thing as I do. He wants me to not be in pain or be so affected in this way. It felt so good to cry in his arms. I have been holding a lot of this inside of me. I have never, ever been good at resting. I am a very active person and sitting around makes me feel shamefully lazy. But for the last month, I have been doing a lot of just sitting around and sleeping in. And I feel horrible about myself as a result. I have not accomplished much of anything, though I've been trying to "live life as usual". When you feel like your insides are separating, tearing, getting stabbed on a continual basis...well, you don't feel like life is "usual" so living it as such is difficult.
I finally made an appointment with another doctor, since mine seems to be just waiting out my pain. I made an appointment with a specialist who is a gynecologist dealing with "problem issues". When I called and the receptionist told me this, she said, "The Dr. won't see you for just any issue. She can only accept new patients for extreme problems." I said, "I have Ammenorhea and I have been bleeding for nearly a month with extreme pain and possible cyst ruptures." She said, "Allright, can you come in tomorrow?" Haha. I guess I qualify! I'm glad she'll be able to get me in so soon. I'll be going in at 1:30. I am hopeful she can just tell me how I can stop hurting and feeling so tired. Even if she can't stop the bleeding (though that's likely why I'm so tired). I can handle that part, though I should have stock in O.B. at this rate. Then, of course, I hope she can help fix everything else. But first, the pain.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
mish mash
I just got back from visiting with Kat up in Padilla Bay. It was so peaceful and beautiful. She is renting a great little place on a tree farm right on the water. When she told me it was a farm, I expected it to look like farmland. I guess tree farms are different, though. It just looks like lush, forested property. The main house is large and modern and the whole front is windows overlooking the bay. There are lots of little garden plots in front of the house as well as a greenhouse, but other than that, it doesn't look any different than any other waterfront property. It's really quiet up there and it reminds me of being at the lake in Indiana, except there are islands out in the "lake" and the "lake" is really the ocean and mountains surround it...but OTHERWISE it's totally the same. ;) Last night, we went to the nearest town, roughly 7 minutes away, called Edison. It has 2 bakeries, 2 restaurant/bars, 2 art galleries, a clothing boutique, and a liquor store attached to someone's house. Very small, very quaint, very...limited. It was fun for a night, but I don't think I could live there long-term. It was trivia night at the saloon we were visiting, so we played. With only one round to go, we were in second place. The final round was the music round, requiring us to name the artists of 10 songs played. We BOMBED that round. So much so, we ended up in LAST place. It was really hard. The artists I can recall were Kenny Loggins, the Ting Tings, Winger, Dionne Warwick and Hank Williams, Jr. FAIL.
I am still bleeding, 3 weeks later. The pain has minimized, but I am still exhausted all the time. I don't know why my body is acting this way.
I am going to start a GI diet blog, with recipes that I try. I got a new book to help me out:
It's filled with yummy-sounding recipes, so I hope it helps me feel less miserable about having to comply with this new lifestyle.
Last Monday, Todd left for Peru to do research in the Amazon and on Saturday Nikki leaves for Nepal to implement the goals of her non-profit. I am anxious to hear the stories when they return, but after Kat told me she is going to Pulau next month, I was left with Travel envy of the greatest kind. I want to be rich enough to go on adventures every day, every month, every year. And have a house to come home to. And a car that I love. And paid off student loans. Am I asking for too much?
I am still bleeding, 3 weeks later. The pain has minimized, but I am still exhausted all the time. I don't know why my body is acting this way.
I am going to start a GI diet blog, with recipes that I try. I got a new book to help me out:
It's filled with yummy-sounding recipes, so I hope it helps me feel less miserable about having to comply with this new lifestyle.
Last Monday, Todd left for Peru to do research in the Amazon and on Saturday Nikki leaves for Nepal to implement the goals of her non-profit. I am anxious to hear the stories when they return, but after Kat told me she is going to Pulau next month, I was left with Travel envy of the greatest kind. I want to be rich enough to go on adventures every day, every month, every year. And have a house to come home to. And a car that I love. And paid off student loans. Am I asking for too much?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
unhealth
This past week has been pretty hard on me, health-wise. Ever since I was diagnosed with PCOS, I've been taking a lot of herbal remedies and vitamins to help with my liver function. My liver is not pushing out the testosterone in my body like most female's livers do, so I am not ovulating and my emotions are very unpredictable. I also lack a great deal of energy because I am not able to process Vitamin D correctly. Last week, I got my first period in months. This made me think I was getting better. Then, 4 days after it stopped, I started another period. Heavier and more painful than the first. I called the Naturopath describing the pain and we are now pretty certain I'm not having my period, I'm simply bleeding from an ovarian cyst slowly popping. There are moments when I think, "OMIGOD THE PAIN PLEASE JUST KNOCK ME OUT RIGHT NOW" and then, it goes away. But then I move or sit in a way that puts pressure on it and I want to scream. I'm looking at 2 more months (at least) of so many pills every morning, drinking a disgusting tincture in juice, and putting beta-carotene drops on my tongue. Additionally, I have to radically change my diet. This is the part that scares me more than anything. Because of this PCOS, I am exhibiting diabetic-type symptoms in regards to insulin, so I have to eat a low-glycemic diet. That isn't the scary part. The scary part is that I basically have to eat all day long and, it's going to sound weird but, I really hate eating. Some things are yummy and if I am hungry I will happily eat them. But eating isn't fun to me. I like to do it once, maybe twice a day. Other than that, it seems really tedious. With this diet, I'm supposed to eat six times a day--at least. I don't think I'm going to be very good at it. It sounds expensive and time consuming and... boring.
Although I've been in too much pain to be really active this week, I've managed to do some fun things on my first real week of vacation. On Tuesday, I met the girls at Post in Post Alley for drinks and I ended up singing Billie Jean with the band in front of the whole place. Yesterday, I met some friends for lunch at Zeek's and then I took Lulu to the beach. The weather was so glorious and the beauty of the ocean and mountains were breathtaking. I felt like I was in the Mediterranean. I am a lucky girl to live where I do! When I got home, I packed a picnic and met Nikki at the Zoo for the Patty Griffin/Emmylou Harris/Shawn Colvin show. Afterwards, we went to her house and had a fire pit fire in the backyard with her boyfriend and two of his friends. Josh and Lulu joined us just before midnight.
My favorite event of the week was getting an iPhone!!! I love it. It was Josh's birthday present to me. Josh has been an amazing boyfriend throughout all this crap with my health. I am very lucky to have his love and adoration. He's going to the fire station again tonight and I am bummed about that. I've been busy with friends for 2 nights in a row and I could really use some downtime with him tonight. I guess that will have to wait til tomorrow....
Although I've been in too much pain to be really active this week, I've managed to do some fun things on my first real week of vacation. On Tuesday, I met the girls at Post in Post Alley for drinks and I ended up singing Billie Jean with the band in front of the whole place. Yesterday, I met some friends for lunch at Zeek's and then I took Lulu to the beach. The weather was so glorious and the beauty of the ocean and mountains were breathtaking. I felt like I was in the Mediterranean. I am a lucky girl to live where I do! When I got home, I packed a picnic and met Nikki at the Zoo for the Patty Griffin/Emmylou Harris/Shawn Colvin show. Afterwards, we went to her house and had a fire pit fire in the backyard with her boyfriend and two of his friends. Josh and Lulu joined us just before midnight.
My favorite event of the week was getting an iPhone!!! I love it. It was Josh's birthday present to me. Josh has been an amazing boyfriend throughout all this crap with my health. I am very lucky to have his love and adoration. He's going to the fire station again tonight and I am bummed about that. I've been busy with friends for 2 nights in a row and I could really use some downtime with him tonight. I guess that will have to wait til tomorrow....
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