what's NEWs

Summer vacation officially started last Wednesday, but I have been working every day at school since. Boo. For the 3rd year in a row, I am having to move classrooms. Last year was because I changed schools, but the other two years is because I keep getting booted to a different room. It's so annoying. Yes, next year I will have a much bigger room, but that doesn't make up for all this extra (unpaid) work I'm doing to pack, clean, clean, unpack, lift, carry, haul, clean, arrange....and the list goes on. It's made worse this year because I am moving into the room of a woman who is retiring after 31 years. 31 years in the SAME ROOM. Can you believer it? There are so many pieces of CRAP in this room. And the filth!!! Oh my. The filth. Yech. So anyway. It's a lot of work. Tomorrow, I hope to be done for a while. At least until the floor in my new room gets waxed. Then I can go in and start to really arrange and place and organize. For now, all of the tables have to be stacked against the wall and all the shelves pushed into the corner. I can't even tell how/if the furniture is going to fit in there until the floors are done. Lame.

I started seeing a new therapist when I got back from Nova Scotia. She is actually an Art Therapist, which was something of a gamble for me. I'd never had Art Therapy before, but I've worked with Art therapists in my career in education and I have even taken some Art Therapy classes. As such, it wasn't weird to me. I just didn't know how I might benefit from it or if I would at all. Basically, at the start of every session, she has me do something that doesn't involve conversation. She once had me make a card for myself. Another time, she had me select a couple of trinkets from a box that spoke to me. The last time we met, she asked me to draw something that was related to my vision of this summer. She always offers a variety of media including pen and markers and oil pastels. We then talk about these things. It's pretty revealing. I like it so far. The rest of the time is either spent talking about what's most pressing or charting major moments on the timeline of my life. I don't enjoy that last one so much, even though it's one of the major reasons I started seeing a therapist again. I want to look at my history to see why I do what I do and what patterns I need to identify to stop getting the same results. I get so busy and I ignore so much in my life--relationships, emotions, stress. It's totally unhealthy and I am doing it on purpose. I need to figure out why. Drawing every week might not be the solution, but I'm willing to try.

I determined my vision for the summer is to shed things. I need to shed fears, insecurities, bad choices, unhealthy emotions, and physical weight. All of it is interconnected. I haven't done anything yet to start this process, but I am excited to admit that I'm going to a Pilates mat class again tomorrow for the first time in two years. I don't know why I've waited so long. I LOVE Pilates. I even aspired to get Pilates certified for a time. In preparation, I took a reformer class since then and didn't like it at all. I realized I needed to focus on mat. I just haven't gotten motivated to go to another mat class and tomorrow, I am finally changing that. Thanks to my twinstar, Angela. I brought it up to her at my birthday celebration and she agreed to join me. Even if she doesn't commit to going more than once in a blue moon, I plan to sign up for at least a month. If I truly love it, I'll find a way to fit the extra $100 a month into my budget. I need to feel better inside as well as better about my outside. STAT. Here's to taking the first step...

Reforming Myself

This evening I began the 7 week intro series at Vitality Pilates.  I started doing Pilates when I lived in Edmonds and almost instantly fell in love.  It's the first exercise/physical activity that has just seemed to "fit" with my body.  I feel really strong in my core, even though the weight I gain is always centralized there.  Underneath that pudge is a strong layer of muscle.  My legs, as well, are easy to strengthen and tone.  Pilates targets these areas, making me feel successful at the movements.  I love that and I loved what it did for my body.  I even looked into teacher training with the idea I could teach Pilates for a living. The classes I took in Edmonds were mat classes.  I've always wanted to try doing Pilates on the Reformer, but I never thought I could afford it.  I finally decided I just needed to do it, regardless of cost.  I've been so unhappy with my shape and it's become essential for me to be more active.  I figured nothing could motivate me to commit to exercise like Pilates, let alone the form of it that I've always wanted to try.  So tonight was the first night.

I liked it.  I thought it was pretty basic, but I understand why it needed to be.  I am still not totally convinced that the Reformer is an essential piece of equipment.  Most of what we did tonight, I did on the mat without a machine.  In many ways, the machine made the exercises easier because I didn't have to hold my own leg in the air--the machine (and the weight of my body as resistance) supported it.  In other ways, as I add more resistance in time, for example, it will be more challenging to use the Reformer than to do the same movements on the mat.  I am looking forward to what's to come.  They told me when I enrolled that I might need to have a conversation with the instructor as the class progresses about my individual needs--increasing the challenge or lessening it--because this is a group class where 7 others are being accommodated as well.  I will definitely keep quiet for the next 3 classes, to see how she progresses the class.  After that, I might ask for ways in which I can modify the machine to increase the challenge while doing the same things everyone else is doing.  I know it's possible.  If, after this 7 weeks I've regained a love and passion for Pilates, I might look into the teacher training class again.  It would satisfy me so much more to run a Pilates studio than to teach elementary school. I wouldn't do it, though, unless I truly felt successful at Pilates, though.  That will require a lot of work to feel that way.  We'll see if I'm up to the challenge.