what's NEWs

Summer vacation officially started last Wednesday, but I have been working every day at school since. Boo. For the 3rd year in a row, I am having to move classrooms. Last year was because I changed schools, but the other two years is because I keep getting booted to a different room. It's so annoying. Yes, next year I will have a much bigger room, but that doesn't make up for all this extra (unpaid) work I'm doing to pack, clean, clean, unpack, lift, carry, haul, clean, arrange....and the list goes on. It's made worse this year because I am moving into the room of a woman who is retiring after 31 years. 31 years in the SAME ROOM. Can you believer it? There are so many pieces of CRAP in this room. And the filth!!! Oh my. The filth. Yech. So anyway. It's a lot of work. Tomorrow, I hope to be done for a while. At least until the floor in my new room gets waxed. Then I can go in and start to really arrange and place and organize. For now, all of the tables have to be stacked against the wall and all the shelves pushed into the corner. I can't even tell how/if the furniture is going to fit in there until the floors are done. Lame.

I started seeing a new therapist when I got back from Nova Scotia. She is actually an Art Therapist, which was something of a gamble for me. I'd never had Art Therapy before, but I've worked with Art therapists in my career in education and I have even taken some Art Therapy classes. As such, it wasn't weird to me. I just didn't know how I might benefit from it or if I would at all. Basically, at the start of every session, she has me do something that doesn't involve conversation. She once had me make a card for myself. Another time, she had me select a couple of trinkets from a box that spoke to me. The last time we met, she asked me to draw something that was related to my vision of this summer. She always offers a variety of media including pen and markers and oil pastels. We then talk about these things. It's pretty revealing. I like it so far. The rest of the time is either spent talking about what's most pressing or charting major moments on the timeline of my life. I don't enjoy that last one so much, even though it's one of the major reasons I started seeing a therapist again. I want to look at my history to see why I do what I do and what patterns I need to identify to stop getting the same results. I get so busy and I ignore so much in my life--relationships, emotions, stress. It's totally unhealthy and I am doing it on purpose. I need to figure out why. Drawing every week might not be the solution, but I'm willing to try.

I determined my vision for the summer is to shed things. I need to shed fears, insecurities, bad choices, unhealthy emotions, and physical weight. All of it is interconnected. I haven't done anything yet to start this process, but I am excited to admit that I'm going to a Pilates mat class again tomorrow for the first time in two years. I don't know why I've waited so long. I LOVE Pilates. I even aspired to get Pilates certified for a time. In preparation, I took a reformer class since then and didn't like it at all. I realized I needed to focus on mat. I just haven't gotten motivated to go to another mat class and tomorrow, I am finally changing that. Thanks to my twinstar, Angela. I brought it up to her at my birthday celebration and she agreed to join me. Even if she doesn't commit to going more than once in a blue moon, I plan to sign up for at least a month. If I truly love it, I'll find a way to fit the extra $100 a month into my budget. I need to feel better inside as well as better about my outside. STAT. Here's to taking the first step...