Year in Review

It's the last day of 2009! I decided to post something to round out the year, even though I've been absent for over a month.

I haven't yet written my New Year's Resolutions, but I have a good idea what they'll be. When Josh comes home from work today, we're going to write ours down. I'll make sure to post them in the next few days. To honor the past year, however, I'm going to do an '09 recap, by month. It's good to reflect on things before making new goals, I think.

January
President Obama took office, making history as the first black president of the United States. This was a particulary momentous day in my memory because I was teaching at an almost all-black school and we hugely celebrated the meaning of this for this demographic and culture. I was especially happy for my babies (my class) because they were able to identify with the first leader of the country they will probably remember having.

February
I agreed to accompany my high school friend turned Seattle friend, Sharonne, to a cross country skiing race near Leavenworth. 3 other friends of hers decided to come along as well. In this one weekend, I made bonds with friends I will probably know for life. In fact, we celebrated each other multiple times this year and they were included in most of my memories. My initial decision to go for the race was a smart one! I also started taking Pilates again. This time, it was with the reformer. I took a class for 6 weeks, but I didn't like it. I was bummed because it was so close to my house.

March
I believe it was this month that I was displaced from my school. My Principal illegally removed me from my position for the following year so she wouldn't have to remove the male teacher, since they are harder to find. I was so relieved to get out of this school, though, that I agreed to sign the form. I'm sure the fact that she threatened to ruin my career helped...

April
In April, My parents visited us for a week. It was a great trip and we had a lot of fun. I don't think my mom had been here prior to that in over 8 years. I also interviewed for 5 new teaching positions in April. Applying for them was a lot of work and the interviews were crammed into three days after full days of work, which made for a crazy me. We also reconnected with Josh's family who live in the area on Easter. It was an important connection that has made us both happy. Additionally, I made a new virtual friend through this blog that turned out to be very closely connected to me in real life! As such, her friendship doesn't seem so much "virtual" and has been an important one to me.

May
In May, I was offered the position to teach at my current school. I was subsequently offered 3 more jobs. From the moment I accepted, they welcomed me with open arms. I have never regretted my choice to work there. I also went to Sasquatch, a music festival, with 2 of the women mentioned above. We camped overnight and had a blast. May was also an important month for Josh, as he was hired on by the Milton Fire Department and he also celebrated one full year of running his own business.

June
In June, we celebrated my birthday with a weekend trip to Hood River, Oregon and went whitewater rafting with all 4 of the girls above and one of their significant others. It was an amazing weekend of limo rides, jumping off bridges and bonfires. I also said goodbye at the end of June to kids I loved and cherished as well as a school I didn't.

July
July was a month of bleeding, pain, and exhaustion. At the start of the month, I was diagnosed with PCOS and put on an herbal regimen by my Naturopath. I bled every day, all day, for 6 weeks. It was 3 weeks in to the bleeding that I began to believe I didn't just have a popped cyst in my ovaries, as suspected. I saw a specialist who did a routine pregnancy test and discovered I'd been pregnant since before the bleeding began. Ultrasounds resulted in the acceptance that the pregnancy was doomed and I received Chemotherapy and visited the ER to force a miscarriage. It was to date the most horribly sad and trying experience of my life. Despite all of this going on, I still managed one primitive camping trip with friends and a weekend cabin getaway in the mountains with the crew including Josh. On this trip, I remember one day in particular that was filled with serious fun and boys body surfing the river. We also further reconnected with more of Josh's local family and met his newest second cousin, Madelyn. She is beautiful!

August
I was still recovering from my miscarriage and still bleeding as we prepared ourselves for a trip to Hawaii. The trip itself was magical and we talk about it every other week, at least. It is still an idea in the back of our heads that we could take a year off from our lives and live there while I teach and Josh.....cleans pools? We haven't figured his part out yet. Coming back from Hawaii, we resumed nutty schedules. Josh tried to make up for work he'd missed while I tried to ready an empty room for 30 5 year olds.

September
I officially started teaching at Green Lake. I bonded with a whole new batch of adorable kids and the job literally consumed every waking hour. I immediately connected with a new coworker and to this day feel like I couldn't be nearly as pleased with going to work each day if it wasn't for her! I think this was also the month that I joined a bowling league with 3 friends. Monday night bowling became a ritual. A very fun ritual that went on for 3 months. Last but not least, we took a hot air balloon ride over Woodinville! It was a great experience and we had perfect weather. I felt very lucky to have the chance to do this.

October
In October, there was more of the same from September. The only thing that stands out is that Josh got us kicked out of our house by telling the landlord she was a crazy psycho bitch. She really is, but it was not a great plan to tell her this. We were on the frantic hunt for a move within a two week period. Luckily, because she's crazy, she told us we didn't have to move out anymore. I still think it would be a good idea, but it's cheaper for us to stay and we really do like our house. This is still in progress... We also dressed up for Halloween. I was an alley cat and Josh was a heavy metal rocker. We partied in Ballard pubs with Nikki and Dan and some Portland peeps.

November
Josh went to Fort Wayne for a week in November. Then we had Thanksgiving dinner with friends at Danielle's. We took the rest of the long weekend off in Missoula, Montana where we hiked with Lulu and were generally just lazy and silly. It was one of the best trips we've ever taken.

December
In December, we went to a bad sweater party where Josh took second place. I also had a work happy hour celebration with coworkers. At the end of the month, we went to LA to see Josh's immediate family and celebrate Christmas with them. His brother made sure I had a horrible time, but the visit gave me a better understanding of Josh's past and how it might be for me to be related to his mom and brother one day. We decided any subsequent trips to LA will involve us renting a hotel room and car so we don't have to be dependent on his family. We also decided we would spend next Christmas with my family since we had spent the last 3 with his. Upon our return (as in the same day we got off the plane!) we celebrated another Christmas with Josh's local family with whom we reconnected on Easter and saw again in July. I met two more second cousins, one who is 4 and one who is 7. As suspected, we became fast friends. I am even sporting the resulting pink and purple patterned manicure from that night as I type. In December, I was also awarded a fellowship to join scientists on an expedition studying mammals in Nova Scotia in April!!* To ring in 2010, Josh and I plan to hang out with friends at Luau in Tangletown, but that is yet to come.

There were other things that happened this year--other outings, friend experiences, events, etc....but those that I listed are the things I thought of first. I admit I had to go through my archives as well as photos on flickr to match up the correct months with a lot of them! Now that I've recorded them, I'll reread them and reflect on how they've changed me and what I'd like to recreate or build upon in 2010. Happy New Year!!!

* more details to come

Today

Today...
I miss my boyfriend.
I am hanging out with Vicky downtown.
I am going to bake something from my new Agave cookbook.
I am seeing a movie with Todd.
I appreciate my life.

ETA (at midnight)
Today...
I missed my boyfriend's hugs and kisses.
I hung out with Vicky downtown and had a blast. See video here.
I did not bake anything, but I vacuumed the house.
I saw a movie with Katrina and Kathleen.
I appreciated my life.

stuff

Josh leaves tomorrow for a full week. Despite the fact that I don't see him too terribly much during the work week, I am sad about this. I will miss him! I'm also freaked out about being a single parent. Our ability to care for a dog really rests on the fact that he has such a flexible schedule. He's really the main caregiver because he's typically home by mid-afternoon. I'm lucky to get home by 7 and I frequently have other evening commitments that have me gone til 9:30/10. I'm particularly freaked out because I have Parent Teacher conferences til 8 on Thurs and Friday night with no ability to come home before then. Our dogwalker only comes M, W, F and it's in the mornings. Oh well, I'll figure something out. Either ask the dogwalker to add a day and come later....or....ask Nikki for help??

I am going to a coffee benefit with Josh when he gets home from work. Then brunch and the dog park followed by some shopping and a movie. We're making the most of his last day home. Tomorrow I'll be home all day writing my fellowship to go on a science expedition. I should have brought home report cards, but I wasn't thinking. Either that, or I subconciously thought the absence of them would make for a more pleasant weekend. Which it does. :) We know what I'll be doing next weekend, though..... Fun times.

Before I go, I need to document something for my files of "Holy crap I'm so glad I switched schools!" I had a fabulous evaluation meeting on Tuesday in which my principal told me I was an amazing teacher and she is so grateful to have me. Then on Thursady, when I dropped my class off at Art, the Art teacher stopped me and said, "You are a wonderful addition to this school. We are so glad to have you here." It's like I'm making this stuff up. But I'm not!! Talk about a world apart from the last few years! Every teacher deserves to feel this appreciated.

Oh, drunky mcdrunkerson should not post. It's the same thing as drunk dialing, you know. Worse, though, because it's available for viewing for a long time to come. I could delete that last post, but I'd rather just leave it as a reminder that I can be incredibly emotional and irrational when under the influence.

The big thing driving my last post was Josh's announcement that his trip to Indiana this Sunday for a week will allow him to truly determine if he wants to move back there or not. I am getting tired of his inconsistencies and lack of commitment to things. I know he's committed to me, but he needs to figure out what he wants aside from me and commit to it and after he does that (a feat in itself) I don't know if I'll want to fit myself into that scheme. I'm not moving to Indiana anyway. I know that with every fiber of my being. I love what I'm able to do in my job and I know I can really only do those things because of the community in which I live. If my priorities in my work change, I'll be able to consider other locales. For now, though, I'm set.

Some of my friends are also a huge impetus for that last drunken display. A few of them have been driving me nuts lately. That night in particular, I came to find out that one of them has been mad at me for the past 2 months, because she thinks I've been mad at her. Two of our mutual friends have been aware that I'm out of the loop, but they've only been fueling the fire in her mind in further believing I'm upset with her. What the hell? This middle school drama is not supposed to be happening at this late date in my life. Also, I am left feeling disappointed in my choice of friends and my naivete in trusting people. I have done what I can to smooth things over with the initial friend, although I still know my ability to trust her is changed forevermore due to her inability to talk to me about things from the start. I am now left wondering how I will pursue things with the mutual friends who have shown they don't have my best interest at heart. I would love to push a button that just puts a curtain between me and things like this and walk away quietly, but that is not life and I know it.

I got a lot of work done today on my "day off", though there is still more to be done. I have been wanting to bake something, but I don't want to put real clothes on to go to the store. I'm just too LAZY. I am beginning to realize I eat so poorly because I hate grocery shopping, cooking, and sitting down to eat. I would rather just have cereal for breakfast, canned soup for lunch, and take out for dinner. "Whatever is fastest and easiest" is pretty much my motto.

I wish we had Wednesday off every week. I've been spreading myself thin and this required break from the norm is good for me. I hope others are able to take advantage of this today, too. We could all use a break.

Optimistic Drunk

Even though I've had too much wine as a result of Angela's dinner party and it's nearly 1 o'clock in the morning on a school night, I've come to the realization that these things need to be accepted, starting tomorrow when I am sober:

I will need to find a new place of my own by the end of the month

I will need to start online dating again

I will not be having babies anytime soon, despite my old age of 34 1/2 (almost)

I will not be settling down with a life partner anytime soon

I will need to say goodbye to someone I've loved for some time

I will be working on buying my own home alone

I will need to start taking care of myself and avoiding becoming a fat, slovenly hermit

Please, internet friends, help me achieve these goals. Good night.

P.S. Laura and Ted just bought a house and tonight I found out they are 3 months pregnant. YAY!

P.P.S. I found out Sharonne had to be forced to come to brunch on Saturday because she didn't want to see me. I am not sad about this. I am annoyed and I feel less enamored with her than ever before.

P.P.P.S. I want to go to Cancun in February.

Good night now for real.

Kinder Babble

Me:"So, let's stretch out our words when we write them today. Listen for all the sounds you hear when you say the words. I'm going to write, 'We went to see the U.S.S. Arizona.' Who can help me spell 'We'?"

Excited Kindergarten boy raises hand and I call on him.

Kindergartner: "Oh! I know this! 'W'..." (waits for me to write W). "I" (waiting for me to write 'I' as I hesitate). "And another I after you write that."

WII. Oh, but of course.

up to date

Nikki is coming over in 15 minutes and we're going to a Pizza joint to meet some of my co-workers for trivia. I am glad to be able to go, but wish I was seeing some of my favorite people there. Trivia is pretty fun, but it's more fun with the people I love. I count Nikki as one of them, so that's something to celebrate. I just always want it all!

I am feeling kind of glum because I was just looking at some cute photos of someone's baby and another person's wedding and it always puts me in the mode of "Man, they're so lucky. I wish I had that." I know a photo is a captured second of someone's life and doesn't represent the whole "picture" (har har), but I always find myself imagining that it's a representation of every second in their lives. If only life really were one happy picture after another...

School has been really manageable lately, which is a nice break from the overwhelmingness of previous weeks. Feeling healthier really helps make things feel easier. I've been enjoying my kids so much. They are so darn cute. Even the ones that drive me nuts make my days worthwhile.

Still no idea where I'll be moving. I noticed that our landlord placed an ad for our place, saying it will be available Dec.1. While she hasn't said a word about it to us, that date suits me just fine. Josh actually wishes it was Nov. 1 just so we could be in a better situation sooner, but that date would be freaking me out. I can't look for and find a new home, pack and move and clean this place to my satisfaction within a week and some change. That's nuts. He's very unrealistic with things at times, I find. Is this a man-ism, or just him? I think I give him a lot of leeway sometimes by blaming his less pleasant characteristics and behaviors on man-isms. Like how he went off on the landlord in the first place. *groan*

The days are getting shorter and the nights longer. This will all be sped up by the adoption of the time change this weekend. I am really dreading it. In Seattle, due to our Latitude, I think, it gets dark around 5 in the winter. The bonus is that it gets dark around 10 in the summer, but I'd rather be middle of the road year round than living in such light and dark extremes each season. Darkness makes me tired and unmotivated. I don't need any help in that area when it's so chilly outside to boot! It's going to be a netflix happy winter, I do believe...