Arctic Dreams

My post yesterday was due to my uncontrollable crying. It's cryptic, but it really was just verbatim what was going on in my brain. I can't push past the depression, the guilt, and the loss of self-esteem that has haunted me since the chemo. Even going to Angela's birthday dinner last night wasn't any help. I faked it, but I'm pretty sure it was only because I was able to drown my sorrow in a bottomless glass of wine.

Today is so hot, I feel withered. I woke up tired and in a fog, and I have really needed a nap since. I haven't accomplished much in this heat. Tomorrow we are scheduled for a record-breaking 103 degrees. Josh has canceled his work for tomorrow and we plan to all 3 go to the beach and soak in the water all day. There's nothing else that can be accomplished in this weather. Having a house outfitted with a/c is rare around here, considering we live in a temperate zone. Thus, we just lie like slugs in the living room with fans blowing on us and spritzer bottles filled with water that we use to mist ourselves every now and again. How pathetic.

I am trying to drink water constantly, but it still never feels like enough.

Since I'm not moving, I suppose I'll begin work on redoing Josh's website. Then, in a bit, we'll go to the movies for real relief. Hurray!