Hunger Pangs

I have not been able to eat much of anything this weekend due to an inhumane amount of pain. I called the on-call resident to ask him to call me in a scrip for some pain meds, but he wanted me to come in to the ER first. Uh, no thanks, I'll wait til my doctor is in tomorrow and pay tons less to get "checked out". I just want drugs.

Then I remembered that I have an old bottle of codeine from 5 years ago (at least). I read once that medicine doesn't really go "bad" after the expiration date, it just loses its potency to some degree. So I took it. And now? I am STARVING. I don't feel 100% pain-free, but I feel way better than I did. And I don't want what we have in the kitchen. I want Indian food. Or Mediterranean Kitchen. (With you, Erika!) But it's midnight, so I guess I won't be giving in to these cravings. By tomorrow, when it's possible to, I won't likely be hungry again. I'll be in pain again. Hrm.

Thank you to all of you for your kind words via comment and email. I didn't realize all of you were reading! Sneaky... I haven't been awake long enough to respond to everyone, yet, but I will.

This has been so hard for me. It's been hard for Josh, too. But right now I just need to focus on feeling better. I am supposed to go camping next weekend, celebrate 2 friends' birthdays at a cabin the following weekend, and leave for Hawaii the weekend after that. Not to mention how LONG I've been feeling this way and it's supposed to be my vacation! Before you know it, I'll be back to school and won't have any time to myself. I am angry that I've been missing out on life, let alone vacation time, for this long. I am tired of hurting and bleeding and I long to be myself again. SOON. It's starting to feel like an impossibility.