Glee makes me really happy.
I'm past exhaustion today, but I really want to go to Pilates in 2 1/2 hours. Can I do it?
Sometimes I wish I could turn on a DVD and make Lulu entertained. Going to the park can be such an endeavor.
I started seeing an art therapist. Its been...interesting.
I mostly love my new apartment, but I'm still not moved out of storage.
I'm thinking of going on a solo trip this summer. I'm on the fence.
I bought a URL for my ed blog: teachdirty.com. Check it out!
And that, in a montage, is what's on my brain for today.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Yup. Still busy.
I went to a 3 day workshop last weekend that was amazing and beautiful and really valuable. I got so many great ideas to expose my kids to in the outdoors.
My students and I made worm bins yesterday and a local boy scout troop built the raised beds that we'll be planting in next month.
I'm kind of getting dizzy with posting and cross posting to Teach Dirty and Facebook and my expedition blog.
Speaking of which, I leave for my expedition in less than 2 weeks. I am starting to get excited. I have to send out press releases as soon as possible. I've really been slacking in that department. Today, I spent $360 at REI on some new gear. I'm kind of regretting spending that amount, but I also feel it's stuff I need for the trip and not just frivolous things.
Oh, and, I'm moving. Without Josh. We were looking for places this month and one day he says, "I think we should live apart" completely out of nowhere. I was taken aback of course, and then he said, "I think it's the only way I'm going to get my shit together." Now, we do agree he needs to get that together, but I don't understand why that means we have to part ways. Until he says, "I don't want things to change between us, though." Um, what?? So, long story short because it's late and I'm tired, he's living on a sailboat for the next 5 months and I'm not sure where I'll land. I couldn't find a place in the limited time I had before I told the landlord I'd be out, so I'm staying with my friend for 10 days before I leave for my trip, then staying with him again upon my return while I scour for and locate a home. Josh and I are putting our things into storage. Me because I need a place for it all while I'm at my friend's and gone; him because there is no room for anything but him and clothes on the boat. And in terms of "us", we're not breaking up, but I have to be honest and say that I don't understand this. It's moving backwards in a relationship. I feel that I am ready for and deserving of all or nothing....not this in-between dating stuff. We just surpassed 3 years together. We are in our mid-30's. It may just be the beginning of the end and I have been crying a LOT over it. I keep telling myself it will all work out in the end and this will all be for the best, but man is it hard. Right now my schedule is so full and consuming and I feel unprepared to deal with this. Just packing right now is breaking my spirit and heart.
I will get through this though and I'll be okay. I just need to focus on the present and stop freaking out about the future or lamenting the past. I can do it. I can.
I went to a 3 day workshop last weekend that was amazing and beautiful and really valuable. I got so many great ideas to expose my kids to in the outdoors.
My students and I made worm bins yesterday and a local boy scout troop built the raised beds that we'll be planting in next month.
I'm kind of getting dizzy with posting and cross posting to Teach Dirty and Facebook and my expedition blog.
Speaking of which, I leave for my expedition in less than 2 weeks. I am starting to get excited. I have to send out press releases as soon as possible. I've really been slacking in that department. Today, I spent $360 at REI on some new gear. I'm kind of regretting spending that amount, but I also feel it's stuff I need for the trip and not just frivolous things.
Oh, and, I'm moving. Without Josh. We were looking for places this month and one day he says, "I think we should live apart" completely out of nowhere. I was taken aback of course, and then he said, "I think it's the only way I'm going to get my shit together." Now, we do agree he needs to get that together, but I don't understand why that means we have to part ways. Until he says, "I don't want things to change between us, though." Um, what?? So, long story short because it's late and I'm tired, he's living on a sailboat for the next 5 months and I'm not sure where I'll land. I couldn't find a place in the limited time I had before I told the landlord I'd be out, so I'm staying with my friend for 10 days before I leave for my trip, then staying with him again upon my return while I scour for and locate a home. Josh and I are putting our things into storage. Me because I need a place for it all while I'm at my friend's and gone; him because there is no room for anything but him and clothes on the boat. And in terms of "us", we're not breaking up, but I have to be honest and say that I don't understand this. It's moving backwards in a relationship. I feel that I am ready for and deserving of all or nothing....not this in-between dating stuff. We just surpassed 3 years together. We are in our mid-30's. It may just be the beginning of the end and I have been crying a LOT over it. I keep telling myself it will all work out in the end and this will all be for the best, but man is it hard. Right now my schedule is so full and consuming and I feel unprepared to deal with this. Just packing right now is breaking my spirit and heart.
I will get through this though and I'll be okay. I just need to focus on the present and stop freaking out about the future or lamenting the past. I can do it. I can.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Bzzzzzy
There are a few things I've had on my plate. It's all working out right now, but I could envision my head exploding at some point. Please follow me in my current life endeavors by adding these blogs to your roll: My Nova Scotia Expedition and Teach Dirty.
You can also fan my FaceBook Page and follow me on Twitter, if you want to make me glow.
Don't worry, though. I'm not going anywhere. I might be a bit less active here for a bit while I get accustomed to juggling, but I'm going to need my guilty pleasure of letting it all hang out more than ever now.
You can also fan my FaceBook Page and follow me on Twitter, if you want to make me glow.
Don't worry, though. I'm not going anywhere. I might be a bit less active here for a bit while I get accustomed to juggling, but I'm going to need my guilty pleasure of letting it all hang out more than ever now.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Headaches
...I'm getting them a lot lately. Stress, I think. My head feels tight, in the front, near my temples. I think that's stress. Anyway, it's been a long time since I've gotten so many headaches repeatedly. Ibuprofen and I have developed a mighty close relationship. I thought about going to get a massage this weekend. I really should have. My week is going to be insanely busy: Meetings every night this week!!
I put in notice to move. Finally. I know. At least I'm moving forward and it's no longer a debate in my mind. Everything I dreaded about the experience is here now--the search, the packing, the moving, the mourning. I will really miss this house. It's a great house in a great location. I just can't afford it. This of course means that everything I can afford is cheaper, smaller, and uglier. Downgrading sucks. I'm not really willing to give up having my own washer and dryer, a dishwasher, a fireplace....but I know I can't have it all. Mmm. I am remaining optimistic. In 2 weeks, anxiety may hit. Be forewarned.
I put in notice to move. Finally. I know. At least I'm moving forward and it's no longer a debate in my mind. Everything I dreaded about the experience is here now--the search, the packing, the moving, the mourning. I will really miss this house. It's a great house in a great location. I just can't afford it. This of course means that everything I can afford is cheaper, smaller, and uglier. Downgrading sucks. I'm not really willing to give up having my own washer and dryer, a dishwasher, a fireplace....but I know I can't have it all. Mmm. I am remaining optimistic. In 2 weeks, anxiety may hit. Be forewarned.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Life is too short
...to not wear pretty dresses. Y wrote that on her blog the other day and I thought, "That should have been my New Year's resolution!" It relates to more than just appearance and health. For me, it's about doing the things I really want to do, even if I don't think I have the money. It's about making the right choices for how I choose to spend my time and valuing the things and people I love. It's about being the best me that can be. Life is too short to not wear pretty dresses. Yes, it means all of that and more.
I am really fortunate to have had all of last week off. I crafted, I did my taxes, I paid some bills. Most importantly, I rested. I slept a TON. I still feel exhausted, but the point is that I took care of myself and I often forget to do that. I began acupuncture treatment the week before last for my hormonal imbalance and my (seemingly chronic) fatigue. I can't say it's helped, but I'm willing to go through all 11 treatments (at a cost of $220 out of pocket) to see if it has any effect. I went to the doctor's again to have bloodwork done and see if I could blame my exhaustion on anemia or poor kidney function. No dice. It's frustrating to get "a clean bill of health" when you can FEEL that that isn't the case.
In other, better news....I'm planning some adventures and renewing my commitment to running. As soon as I get myself back "in the running", I'm going to sign up for a 5K to really inspire me to keep it up. On the adventure end, coming up: My expedition to Nova Scotia in April, Whitewater Rafting the Klickitat (also in April), Ziplining in Whistler in June, Nicaragua or Morocco in July, and NYC in August. Todd and I are aspiring to go on an expedition to Costa Rica in the fall and I will be spending Christmas in either Germany or Brazil, depending on where the family is going to be, so that's something I can also look forward to. I'd love to fit Vegas and Arizona in in March, but it's difficult to see that happening. There isn't much time to make that happen financially. I'm okay with that, though. I obviously have plenty of other reasons to "wear pretty dresses" throughout the year!
I am really fortunate to have had all of last week off. I crafted, I did my taxes, I paid some bills. Most importantly, I rested. I slept a TON. I still feel exhausted, but the point is that I took care of myself and I often forget to do that. I began acupuncture treatment the week before last for my hormonal imbalance and my (seemingly chronic) fatigue. I can't say it's helped, but I'm willing to go through all 11 treatments (at a cost of $220 out of pocket) to see if it has any effect. I went to the doctor's again to have bloodwork done and see if I could blame my exhaustion on anemia or poor kidney function. No dice. It's frustrating to get "a clean bill of health" when you can FEEL that that isn't the case.
In other, better news....I'm planning some adventures and renewing my commitment to running. As soon as I get myself back "in the running", I'm going to sign up for a 5K to really inspire me to keep it up. On the adventure end, coming up: My expedition to Nova Scotia in April, Whitewater Rafting the Klickitat (also in April), Ziplining in Whistler in June, Nicaragua or Morocco in July, and NYC in August. Todd and I are aspiring to go on an expedition to Costa Rica in the fall and I will be spending Christmas in either Germany or Brazil, depending on where the family is going to be, so that's something I can also look forward to. I'd love to fit Vegas and Arizona in in March, but it's difficult to see that happening. There isn't much time to make that happen financially. I'm okay with that, though. I obviously have plenty of other reasons to "wear pretty dresses" throughout the year!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Little Loves
I got this email from a mom of my student who not only brought me a big heart box of candy yesterday, but also a Mylar balloon and card:
Just wanted to share, we were picking our your card (his idea - very important) and I read one he picked and it was a bit too romantic. "Layne it says 'I love you so very much' " Layne replied with "But I do love Ms. B so very much". Then another romantic one said 'On our first Valentines Day'. Layne said "But this is our first Valentines Day". Ha ha Fun experience.
I love my munchkins. I am so very lucky.
Just wanted to share, we were picking our your card (his idea - very important) and I read one he picked and it was a bit too romantic. "Layne it says 'I love you so very much' " Layne replied with "But I do love Ms. B so very much". Then another romantic one said 'On our first Valentines Day'. Layne said "But this is our first Valentines Day". Ha ha Fun experience.
I love my munchkins. I am so very lucky.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Green dreams
I'm 10 pounds down! Now I just need to let that surprise German Chocolate Cake I got last weekend be the last for a while. We already finished it!
There are so many places I want to travel right now. We have a week off in 2 weeks--well, I do--not Josh. I want to go to either the Oregon Coast or Vegas, but I know we'll just stay here. No money to be doing even such low-budget things. Our neighbor friends just got back from Belize and I am left salivating over the photos of white beaches and an aquamarine ocean. I want to stay in a grass hut!
I keep thinking about how I wish Josh made more money. That's horrible, isn't it? I just think you should either work for passion or money. Both would be ideal, of course. As much as Josh wants to do what he does because he works for himself, I know he also believes it's the only thing he can do. I wish I could spark something to change his mindset. If he was truly
passionate, I could accept our being poor much better than I do. Of course, I'll also continue to support him regardless. I'm good at that part of the job. A girl can still dream though, can't she? It would be nice....
There are so many places I want to travel right now. We have a week off in 2 weeks--well, I do--not Josh. I want to go to either the Oregon Coast or Vegas, but I know we'll just stay here. No money to be doing even such low-budget things. Our neighbor friends just got back from Belize and I am left salivating over the photos of white beaches and an aquamarine ocean. I want to stay in a grass hut!
I keep thinking about how I wish Josh made more money. That's horrible, isn't it? I just think you should either work for passion or money. Both would be ideal, of course. As much as Josh wants to do what he does because he works for himself, I know he also believes it's the only thing he can do. I wish I could spark something to change his mindset. If he was truly
passionate, I could accept our being poor much better than I do. Of course, I'll also continue to support him regardless. I'm good at that part of the job. A girl can still dream though, can't she? It would be nice....
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